First: I'm just looking for a chat, a conversation. A bit about me: I'm a 25 year old woman from the Netherlands and prefer to talk in Dutch but can talk in English too. I only use reddit chat. Please give a direct reaction to this post in your chat request.

I've always looked to sex in a more practical way. People tend to make more of it while in the end it's also just a need that has to be fulfilled, which you can do through simple means. For some that is masturbation but since I don't like him masturbating in a relationship (and never have) we do that through me helping him out. That can be through sex of a handjob. On average men have a higher libido than women which makes sense biologically. In a relationship you should help each other out and prevent frustrations. That also goes for sexual frustrations which means that women have a responsibility towards men in that regard. It is all about finding a middle ground that works for both. 

A lot of the sex I have had in my life was just going through the motion (what some may call starfishing or 'bored and ignored', I prefer the term 'passive'). I think there is nothing wrong with keeping it simple or even a bit lazy, While many may not admit it, I think many men prefer sex in that way over no sex, some maybe even prefer it overall. I view it as sex out of love instead of purely passion and there's nothing wrong with that. Part of that is because I can't orgasm from penetrative sex and rather have it quick. I still like it and have it often (I think more often than most exactly because we keep things simple), just don't like it if it takes forever. 

I think in a way it made my way of doing things sort of kinky for me in a weird way. I like viewing sex in a more practical view, doing it that way and talking about it. I like to promote my way since I think it is how it was for most couples throughout history and I think it was better than most do it now (falling in sexless marriages/relationships). I think now many men feel pessured, which isn't good for any relationship. Sex is naturally mostly about the ejaculation: his orgasm and release. To prevent the build-up of sexual tension and frustration.