Good evening! I know this isn't a normal post for DirtyR4R but I'm open to all chats. I am a 38m, married for several years now. Rather than post about a particular prompt, this morning I'd like to find someone and make an actual connection and friend both just in friendly conversation as well as dirty. And it would also be nice to get a females perspective on things and how I could improve. Obviously that would take time but gotta start somewhere! I love my wife and do my best to provide. She is currently working on her masters and I am in full support of her ambitions. She deals with several things, depression, bi-polar disorder and a couple other things. Those seem to be under control for the most part.

In a way, it has always somewhat difficult for me to show physical affection, holding hands, cuddling etc. I don't know why. I still try to do that but it has always felt awkward to me. Sex and the physical side I am comfortable with but its the day to day things. I still do them but I always feel weird (I mean, I AM weird but I digress). I am much more comfortable in showing my love through actions. How I can try to improve someone's life. With my wife, I do this by, again, supporting her ambitions and cheering her through the tough times with class and life, being a sounding board and giving a differing perspective or advice and of course just listening when she just needs to vent. I also try to help her by trying to take whatever day to day stresses I can and make them my own. I do all the cooking and cleaning, buying the groceries, laundry, all the yard work, taking care of her car when she needs it or buying the things she needs and more. I do all this and also work full time. I do all I this so she can maintain her focus on finishing school. I am not trying to paint her in a negative light nor me as a beacon of light, just describing the situation.

I don't expect a parade every time she comes home and the house is clean or yard done. I do these things because they have to be done. However, I am more and more feeling unappreciated and taken for granted. She does not offer to help and when she does do a chore, it is left incomplete and I have to finish it. I feel more like a roommate/servant rather than her husband. I do all this and she expects me to show my love in the non-sexual physical ways on top of all that while I just get a thank you and a tight-lipped peck for occasional things. When I try to be romantic, I feel as though I am treated with a cold indifference. The more I do or try, the more I feel it. Maybe it’s in my mind, maybe not.

I do my best to take care of myself, work out daily and try to eat healthy. And in doing all these things, I leave little time for myself to destress and relax other than an occasional cigar or watching a show on TV. And of course getting myself off which I do a lot of lately lol.

I apologize for the long post. This ended up being a half vent. This is not a rp prompt but me being me. If you made it this far, I would love to talk to you. I am 38 6'2, 210lbs, brown hair and blue eyes and a fit build. I am searching for a woman who might be in the same situation and would like to talk or escape or maybe help each other out. Ideally I would like her to be someone married and in her 30s and up. But if you're married and in your 20s and can relate, I'd be happy to chat with you too. I am open to dirty conversations as well, fantasy, sexting and maybe at some point pic trade but again I would also like to talk about our situations and help each other vent. Anyway, this is long enough, I appreciate you reading and I hope to hear from you!