Hello everyone! I'm Jake, a 34yo masc transman. I've had top surgery, a hysterectomy, and have been on hormones since 2012 so I have a full (very red) beard, a masculine voice, and above-average male body hair. I call my parts clit and pussy/cunt and am not comfortable using other terms. Misgendering, feminization, and detransitioning are absolute hard limits.

Full disclosure: I have autism and I'm in therapy/on meds for depression, anxiety, and possible c-PTSD. I do struggle with not having enough "spoons" some days, so a CG who is patient with me and works with what I can offer is critical. I've found emojis super helpful to convey/understand tone and intent and use them a lot.

This is a long post, but really covers almost everything that folx need to know about me. <3

I'm looking for something long term that doesn't just revolve around sex/sexting. I'm demisexual so it may take some time for me to even be interested in engaging in sex with/for you - discussing kinks or whatever is different. I'm re-evaluating my kinks so please be open to exploring things that I might not like any more (ex. urethral/anal penetration) but I'm DEF down to try new things. Vag penetration is an almost limit/no-go. I am trying to figure out edging/ruining, so help with that would be great - or just long-term denial in general. I'm not masochistic, so pain play should fairly limited (ex. spanking ass/pussy as punishment should be fine). If what you're looking for is a porn-dispenser or someone who will do sexual things for you every day, I'm not your guy.

I've tried "normal" bdsm relationships and they're too mean and make me feel bad. I need a Caregiver Dominant who wants to help me be good and celebrates with me when I am. I'm more of a middle than a little, but I definitely need someone to guide me and make sure I'm doing my chores and taking care of myself. I'd say my little/middle age ranges between 5 - 11, but I want CG dynamic all the time (so even when I'm not small). I do NOT want to do things with the point of making me feel bad - I can do basically the same kink exact activity but to make my CG proud and because they know best. I like my CG to make sure that I'm healthy in as many ways as they would like. I like having to show I've had enough water by letting my CG watch (eventually) me pee or check its color. I'm open to having to talk about my eating and poop habits. I obviously need an adult make sure my temperature, weight, and body measurements are all healthy...and like any good boy, I know that temperatures should be taken either anally or urethrally (or both to make sure I did it right). I need a CG that helps me set realistic goals and encourages me to get things done. I definitely need someone who is patient, gentle and wants a middle who heavily relies on them for most things. I've been told that I'm "alot" and I def will talk a lot when I'm excited. I really want someone to whom I can give up most responsibility for regular decisions (ex. shower temperature, food, weight, water goals) and at-home activities (including time for exercising, chores, but also tv or relaxing time). I do have a stuffie (he's a fox named Kitsu) and I like doing coloring books sometimes. I need a CG that can emotionally tuck me in at night so I don't have scary dreams. I don't want to feel bad or sad or lonely, I want to be a good boy and make my CG proud.

Note: I'm not going to consider sending nsfw pics until we've established trust and built a connection. Pics and videos ARE going to happen, just not right away. Please don't ask: I'll send them when I'm ready. I actually LIKE having to show things for inspection so I can be told how good of a boy I am - and also because little boys don't always know what's best for them and they need a grown-up to look and see. Face pics are going to be a much longer wait. Do not ask for any personally identifying info - I'm looking almost exclusively for online interaction - in person is possible but I'm not expecting it or looking for anything soon.

I like a lot of communication (I tend to be clingy once I like you) and definitly need more of an overall gentle dynamic, but certainly with the appropriate strictness that is part and parcel with a CG dynamic. I can't play at work (I can sometimes chat), but I can give basically the rest of my day to you (as long as you give me time to read or play my video games sometimes). I'm usually available in my late afternoon-night time (Pacific time, -8GMT) on days I work, and all day on my off days (usually Thursday/Friday) - if your awake/active times don't match this, please save us both the sadness of being a good match but not being able to match schedules.

I shave my armpits and am in the process of getting permanent genital hair removal. I hate exercise, but I want to lose weight and get stronger. I have a gym membership and low-impact activities are negotiable. I am also interested in strengthening my willpower/self-discipline...but not sure how to approach that. My autism and depression will limit relinquishing food control, but food can still be monitored. I'm also possibly open to increasing social isolation to be centered only around my CG, but this is still a new idea for me.

I know I do need to communicate regularly and frequently to feel connected with my CG. Looking for folx between 21-50yo, but 25-40 are preferred. I prefer cis women, but am open to trans*/NB/cis-male CGs as well. I prefer smaller bodies (athletic,'dadbod', slim, etc.) for my dominant (mostly only important for any potential in-person time), but open to more - it's really about the mental/emotional connection. I'm also open to monog or poly Dominants. I am not willing to relocate.

I'm interseted in finding someone local (SoCal) to play with in person (eventually), but I'm really looking for the right online relationship. If you actually read this far 1) I appreciate you more than you know, and 2) please let me know your favorite pizza topping(s) - replies without pizza toppings will be ignored.

If you made it this far, thanks for reading!!