Are you the kind of distressor I dream about running into while alone in the woods at night? Do you have a creepy basement that, for some reason, locks from the outside? Is one of your questions about the Cybertruck "how am I supposed to shove him tied up and gagged into that tiny frunk" - before you even think about the range or the safety of your fingers? If any of this rings a bell with you, let's talk.

Who am I? Just to get some gears turning, here's a self-portrait of me in my natural, ideal (and some may say, sexiest) state: inescapably bound, thoroughly gagged and not going anywhere or getting into any trouble. Besides, somebody I met here on Reddit once told me that seeing those photos of me tied up made her feral. I just found that the cutest compliment I’ve heard in a while. Others have told me that I just have something about me that makes them want to tie, gag and shove me into their car trunk to drive away. And you can bet that all of that lit a fire underneath the old chimney to fuel another one of these personals, even as the winter continues to be frightful. Positive reinforcement: it’s not just for pets of an animal nature.

Being an unapologetic tease aside, I am still seeking to find my idea people. My FWB as I’ve called it previously – friends with bondage. Specifically, friends and partners I can trust enough to meet alone in the desolate woods and find myself quite the helpless damsel after it all. Unfortunately, it is not quite her blue Mystery Machine you see in that shot hanging around in the background – but you can be assured it is her equally blue panties you see dangling from my big mouth. I picture you, whoever you may be, finding me just like that, unable to see nor speak. What would you do? Go for the big reveal by taking the rope blindfold off? Or keep me in suspense as you carry me over the shoulder to your car?

Bondage and damsels in distress, alongside drawing and photography, are some of my favorite things. I’d do it as a vocation if I could. One of my long-term fantasies (you know, ranking before the brownstone with the dungeon and cells in the basement, but after the custom-fit steel chastity belt to which my other half has the only key) is to have a form of therapy in which one is just thoroughly, tightly and inescapably tied, massively gagged and securely blindfolded. It will be a way to either relax and sink into the feeling or to let out some energy with some vicious struggling depending on one’s temperament. That cannot possibly be worse than chiropractic.

But closer to the ground, I am looking for both online conversation and in-person play partners (and ultimately one primary partner but baby steps) who either derive pleasure from the thought of tying me the fuck up and thoroughly, massively gagging me, or of being rendered into such a helpless, distressed mess themselves even though I’m getting a bit more selective as to who I distress myself. To make the point crystal clear, I am talking about just shoving your nasty, soaking wet panties into every cranny in my mouth and wrapping heaps of vet wrap over my big yapping mouth to seal it all in. That kind of thing, if you know what I’m talking about.

Seriously, it is not that much of an exaggeration to say that bondage is a pastime I would engage in every day if I could. I’ve been tied and tying plenty, but I particularly adore being the classic damsel-in-distress, even if as a masculine spin-off of the old archetype, and being a tied up, quiet, helpless but still defiant and ferociously struggling captive. I want to be hogtied, wriggling, and backtalking you as you cram your filthy dirty socks into my equally filthy mouth to shut me up, as I fight and protest until the final moment when the stuffing is shoved into that big trap and the sound of duct tape coming off the roll fills the air.

But those are details. The big picture is that bondage is core to my kink and I am nothing if not open to suggestion. Rope and not-rope, Eastern style or Western, as long as somebody (ideally me) ends up helpless and writhing, I’m good, game and willing. Nevertheless, as a visual aid, I lean towards the classic helpless "damsel in distress" look you can see in the works of Dominic Wolfe, JJ Plush, Eric Cain, Steve Villa, and others. Restrictive inescapable ties, thick blindfolds or hoods, mouth-filling gags, and just relentless teasing and playing with.

But beyond that, the “friends” part means that beyond sexy kink, I want us to actually be friends. A casual engagement is fine but at the very least we should be acquaintances who care about each other and want nothing but the best for the other half. I’m already mature enough to use the 30 personals subreddit and I think that signals that it has become the right time in my story to sink more effort and energy into lasting connections. I live life by the ethos that if you’re fair to me, I’ll be fair to you.

Oh, and I did foreshadow that photography is my other big love. I am always looking for tied up friends to shoot. As a practical matter, it’s challenging to take photos if I’m the one with hands securely tied up behind my back if the binding is done right.

I am serious when I said that I have a special interest in gags. If your idea of sexting involves us talking about how we can gag each other so tight that we've choking on that thick wad, we're already off to a great start. Something about being totally helpless and voiceless, being unable to communicate and fully under somebody’s control really does it for me. Just cuff my hands behind my back, cram my mouth full of your wet panties and tape it shut, maybe with a vibrator stuck in me. I am willing to call that a date. It is even more affordable than a movie in this inflationary environment; plus reusing dirty laundry this way just has to be good for environmental sustainability. You too can help save the Colorado River by using your worn, dirty undergarments as a great gag instead of putting them through the wash. I can go on for days talking about gags (oh the irony). It is definitely not a dealbreaker though; just a special interest.

In terms of geography, while it would be great if you were local to the NY metro, I travel a lot and am happy to start online with an eye on in-person visits sometime in the future if we vibe – wordplay fully and shamelessly intended. But I am prioritizing in-person connections at the moment.

On that note, I’ve rambled for long enough, talking your ear off. Now, it is your turn. Sometimes, at this point, people would ask the reader to include this or that word to indicate they have read to the end. Yawn. My previous request to have the reader answer me, ‘how would you gag the fuck out of me?’ has drawn some very sexy and piping hot creative writing exercises and we both enjoyed that very much. But unfortunately, as LLMs get better and better, my challenges must also accordingly evolve. So instead, let me know which of these gags do you think would best match my eyes and personality? Just want to make sure we’re both real, that’s all.