Another long night of screaming into the void, Reddit.

Hi hey hello, back at it again with another absolute BANGER (not really, I think 99% of the people that interact with my posts are bots trying to scrape data for large language model integration or some techie shit. I'm not actually IT savvy, even though I spend 90% of my free time on a fucking computer rotting.) of a post to attract the HOT LIL CUTIE PATOOTIE GIRLYPOP (TM) OF MY DREAMS.

And when I say lil, I don't actually mean you need to be younger, people....or smaller than me. Because I am small for a guy at 5'6, so like....it's a vibe, y'know? Pick up on it. I'm just all kinds of fucked up and bored and have to work extra long tonight and have classes in the morning and there is this part of my brain screaming at me to write something because....I dunno, it feels good to get it out somewhere I guess.

I've pretty much always been a sexual deviant, I think. From like, my youngest memories I remember thinking about girl's butts. I remember I was this precocious like, fucking 8 or 9 year old and my dad showed me the website cheatplanet as a way to get cheat codes for our PlayStation games, and at one point there was this new rental we got and there were no cheat codes on cheatplanet....so what did I think to do? OBVIOUSLY just substitute a synonym for planet DUH!!!! Turns out, cheatuniverse back in like, 1999 or 2000....was not a website about cheat codes. 🥴

I don't really know the point of this post, if I'm being honest. I think this is something I struggle with all my writing and ramblings, is like there's this deep need to disclose and explain and seek clemency and find shelter in others approval and validation but like....I just fucking yap. I just want someone who enjoys listening to my monologues and can match my energy and also get the fuck at me with my freak (which is very freaky, tysm for asking.)

I'm just gonna rattle off some kinks here, including some heavy ones - so if you fuckin message me with hey and have no clue about any of these that I've talked about, I'm officially cursing you specifically and only you, random reddit bot trying to phish information out of me or blackmail me with pictures of myself, to suffer a painful and miserable reddit evening. I am into the following : ddlg, anal, giving rimjobs, hairy/natural body hair on women, scentplay, watersports (being pissed on, also open to pissing on my partner if they wanted), messy/gassy anal (if you think 'yuck!' respectfully fuck outta here. You have not passed the freak test), worshipping my partner's body, edging, orgasm control/denial, dirty talk ( the filthier the better ) ,creampies, impreg, breeding, pic/video exchange for those that especially catch my eye.

Someone recently asked me why I don't think I'm a catch or why I feel like finding someone is so difficult, and I kind of liked my answer I guess so I'm gonna share it here - because I'm 32 and still not where I want to be, because I need a hot girl who sets my fucking brain on fire, because I'm looking for a girl who is into ddlg but also fucking loves having her ass played with and needs it just as badly as I need to do it, because I'm a sap who wants to find my best friend who will play video games with me and do lame video calls and just generally be all over each other, because I need a messy little girl who just wants to be their daddy's everything...

Alright I think I'm kinda getting gassed but like, just to be clear I'd love to hear from some people but also expect nothing. My hopes are in the gutter where they belong with the rest of me. I am a real person, I'd love to chat with someone for longer than tonight but understand the nature of the internet. Peace and love I guess to everyone out there, wishing us all the best of luck with whatever you've got going on.