I volunteer!
(Dramatic pause)
I volunteer as tribute.
5’11 210ish. It’s a dad bod but you know, I’m working on it. (I’m quoting from the book here, she didn’t say this in the movie) White guy. Dirty blonde. Kinda long.
(These are my words now). I offer an intense appreciation for eye contact. Dad jokes, but like the good ones. Not to brag or anything but they are pretty good. Also I offer possibility of meeting someone who believes in his heart that boobs are my soul food. I thought about trademarking the phrase. I don’t mean that I actually eat them. It’s just that they are so lovely and can be magical at any size really. Sure we all have preferences but I don’t dwell on that too much. I’m just glad that they exist and might someday come my way again. I miss them. Little bit of a lonely hearts situation here but - hey stop trying to make me feel things you monsters!
Or Ummm you wanna be friends at least and share your boobs? And maybe do other things while we e already got your boobs out? Doesn’t have to be all boob related. Boob adjacent maybe. Boob inclusive?
I want someone to need hands on their body. And maybe a hot mouth on her nipples and between her legs.
Anyway, asking for science. Godspeed.
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