I'm a weird guy. Kind of a broken guy. I've got all sorts of back story: sad stuff, happy stuff, other stuff. I'm married, my stomach doesn't work, I wrote a novel, I make good fried rice, a bird once landed on my shoulder like in a Disney movie...and, maybe, you'd love to hear those stories, and I'd be happy to share them, but that's not what this ad is.
Without a bunch of framing: I find women's bodily functions incredibly sexy. Honestly, I just love bodies in general, not just some symmetry or perfume, or whatever, but I love them in all their glory. Every weird edge and function.
Didn't shower and are kind of sweaty? Awesome. Have a wonky eye? Beautiful. Some pimples along your chin? Please don't bother with makeup.
And I want to celebrate that and experience that, and get into that. So, here's that: I want to lick your asshole, I want you to rub your pussy all over my face till I smell like you, I want to see how swollen your clit gets before you cum, I want you to fart on my face, I want you to sit on me. I want to have fun and I want to get weird with it.
So, if you've ever wanted an intimate space where you could show up sweaty without deodorant, not have a stomach ache because you have to fart, enjoy getting your clit licked without thinking about if you wiped every last drop of piss; and, instead, would like to just be really fucking hot and appreciated. If you'd like to be able to just be exactly you, exactly as you are without any walls or ropes, then, we should talk.
So, there it is: I'd like you to fart on me; you'll enjoy it and I'll spend every moment making you feel awesome and amazing for doing it.
Looking for something fairly permeant with one person that thinks this sounds fun and cool.
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