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34 [M4F] Oregon - Sexistential Crisis; can you relate?
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throbbing-fantasy is a male age 34 looking for a female in Oregon
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I know what turns me on, but I don't know why, and I want to know how you feel about it. Let's discuss the things that turn us on and share our candid reactions. What do my kinks reveal to you about me as a person? Help me see a female perspective to better understand myself. You don't have to align with me to chat with me. You are welcome to message and tell me what you do like, but also what you don't like. Could you see yourself regularly incorporating these kinks with a partner? Would you have reservations or objections or further requests? What about your own kinks?

Below are some descriptions of what I would describe as my 4 biggest kinks.

Above everything else, I want to emphasise enthusiastic consent, I am not interested in non-con or dub-con dynamics.

Cumplay - Why? - I do not know. It might be about the celebration of my pleasure; it might be about acceptance and reframing something that could be perceived as a gross and messy inconvenience as something which is appreciated and valued. Do I want to eat my own cum? Hell no. Do I want you to eat it, and love it? Absolutely. I can't overstate how much that appeals to me.

The biggest irony is that after I orgasm and that clarity hits, I am hyper-sensitive to how my partner feels. I couldn't enjoy it if she didn't. Despite this being my most persistent and potent kink, I'd prefer to just cum in a condom and cuddle rather than explore this kink with someone who wasn't actively interested in it as well.

Dirty talk and begging - Why? - I do not know. It might be that I've spent a lot of time exploring my sexuality through stories and chats. It could be that it is because I'm such a language-oriented person and the right words can strike me on a deep level. I love name-calling - cumslut is probably my favourite - but just because I want to call you my three-holed fucktoy, doesn't mean that I don't respect you as a person. It isn't intended in a degrading way at all - it is meant as a term of endearment. Some words, like cunt or bitch are too abrasive and pejorative, and turn me off, but others like slut or whore are so hot, especially when preceded with the word *my*.

The begging is a little easier to rationalise - show me that you want what I have, that you unambiguously consent to what I will do to you, reassure and remind me that you want this as much as I do.

No-holes-barred sex - Why? - I do not know. Surely I should have evolved to want to have my penis in a vagina, and yet I am so easily distracted by the alternatives. I think oral sex has become very normalised in our modern society, I feel like it requires no explanation that one might want to give and receive head. But why on earth would a woman want to feel a cock pushing further, into her throat? And yet here I am fantasising about being that dick.

How did a desire for anal sex not get bred out by natural selection in the millennia before germ theory and modern hygiene? Why on earth am I so drawn to putting my penis in places that preference my pleasure over my partner's? Is it possible that my partner might enjoy this as much as me?

Could it be appealing to be with a man who wants to feel like nothing is off limits, whether he wants to fuck your tits, your mouth, your pussy, your ass?

Slutty outfits - Why? - I do not know. I find a slutty outfit hotter than a naked body. It isn't because I like leaving things to the imagination - I don't like most lingerie, I don't like bras or panties. Perhaps it is analogous to how we put nice paintings in nice frames? A sexy figure is framed so nicely by stockings, mini-skirts, heels. Normally I prefer looking at a face without makeup, but there's something about fake lashes and thick lipstick that gets me going - especially as it becomes smeared and begins to look trashier and trashier. Why do I like the outfits I like? Why do I love a maid outfit, but not care for a nurse outfit?

My limits include violence/toilet/beast/impreg/noncon.

There are plenty of reflections here to get you thinking and give you something to reply to. But you can also start by simply telling me which of these 4 kinks is most/least appealing to you and why.

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a male
Age
34
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a female
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2 weeks ago