First: what do I look for? I'm not looking for a RP or anything like that but for a conversation. For me the goal of that conversation isn't to get aroused but out of interest and curiosity but I understand that can be different for you. I don't mind you getting aroused. I'm looking for a chat through reddit chat in Dutch (preferably) or English. Please send what made you interested in my post or what relates you to it (not just a "hi"). Thank you and see you there!

My vision of sex is that it's very much man-focussed, especially in a relationship. I don't mean that Women are just for men's pleasure, are his fucktoy or should do anything to arouse him. I just think that man generally are easily aroused and need to orgasm often. They have in general a much higher libido and have a bit of pressure to ejaculate. Purely biologically speaking that is completely sensible. In men his sperm tops off after only 2,5 days so he has to release often, it's just how it is.

I think many women in long lasting relationships don't have that. At least I don't have that. My libido is low and I can't get to orgasm through anything a man does. I don't mind that though. For me sex is a sort of duty and I don't see that in a bad way. It still is fun and I even low key like it that he's a bit dependant on me for that. I rather have us having sex than him masturbating to other women.

I do however want it to be easy on me. Call it duty sex, passive sex, starfish, whatever you want but I'm not very active. When we have sex it's usually in missionary and usually with him in the active/moving role. I lie mostly still and let him do it. It's no less intimate that way, he has his release and I still feel close to him. I like that I can give him that but I want to keep it easy for me. Part of that is also because I am a bit lazy. The alternative it that we do it once or twice a month and he masturbates outside of that while watching other women (porn). I don't want that.

I think there is a natural order in that. We have sex for different purposes: for reproduction of course but at least as much for pleasure and social reasons. I think outside of reproduction, which is mainly something you plan nowadays, in general men are more focused on pleasure (the orgasm, both their own as the one of the woman as they think she thinks it's as important as he does) while for most women the social part is more important. The social function of sex is for example the feeling of togetherness and love and closeness you get from it.

So in a more natural order there would be much more emphasis on the male orgasm. That's isn't purely for the biological reasons in terms of reproduction but also for the pleasure part (men have a higher libido on general than women) and social part (men get frustrated when they don't orgasm frequently). That also explains why on average men are usually the more active, dominant and initiators of sex while women tend to be more passive, submissive and the ones who decide whether or not sex will happen. I like being passive/lazy during sex and it even feels feminine to me.

I think it's strange that men are usually expected to be responsible for both their own and their partner's orgasm. It puts a lot of pressure on them which is neither fair nor natural. From a biological viewpoint there is a natural emphasis on the male orgasm as that always had more on a function. While it is nice to have an orgasm, purely biologically his ejaculation has much more importance.

Anyway, that's how I think about sex. Do you agree to that or have a similar situation, then I especially like to talk with you. A bit about me: I'm 25, live in the Netherlands with my boyfriend who knows I talk here, and have had relationships in the past. I only had sex within a relationship although I did hand stuff outside a relationship. I'm looking for a conversation, not to horn you up and not for an RP. That conversation can create arousal and that can lead somewhere but it's not the initial goal as it is to talk about sex, it's role, preferences and experiences. For me it's much more about curiosity but I don't mind if for you it's arousal focused as that's natural for a man. Themes I also like talking about (since they are closely aligned to the topic) are bored and ignored, starfish and FreeUse.