You receive a piece of mail that you’ve been dreading: the official sentence from the regional Punishment Center. Since getting caught speeding, you have heard stories about the new punishment laws and what they entail, even rumors of exposure and other corporal punishment. You hope the laws don’t pertain to you, as you inhale deeply and open the letter.
It says that you have been found guilty of recklessly operating your motor vehicle. In accordance with the new judicial punishment regulations, in lieu of a monetary fine you’ve been sentenced to a self-administered exposure punishment. You read on:
“The offending party shall take a series of photos of themselves in varying stages of undress, up to and including complete nudity, and submit them to the designated punishment official. Your name and face shall be excluded to maintain anonymity. Failure to complete this sentence shall result in additional penalties, up to and including jail time.
In order to complete your punishment, you are directed to message AspiringAsparagus22 for further instructions, including the specific photos you must provide. Offenders must be 21 years of age to be eligible for this punishment. Attempts to submit photos of anyone but themselves shall be deleted and will result in additional penalties.”
You take a deep breath, set the summons down and pick up your phone. “Best to get this over with,” you say to yourself.
(Include your age and the phrase “punishment summons” when you message me, so I know you read this whole thing.)
I’m waiting on your response…
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