As an asexual, I experience little to no sexual attraction. I do find women visually appealing and have a fairly normal (perhaps even high) need for sexual release, but it doesn’t translate to me wanting to kiss, grope and make love to my partner. It’s not that I’m trying to be thoughtless. The instinct simply isn’t there. Words like lust and passion don’t exist for me. Instead, I express my love through shared experiences and acts of kindness. In a perfect world, my partner and I would express our care for each other through visiting beautiful and interesting places together, going to events, sharing a meal that I cooked for you, etc.
As far as sexual needs are concerned, we would mainly take care of our own needs on our own time. We would learn the signals and know when to give each other privacy to masturbate.
Every once in a while when we’re lying in bed together, you might reach your hand down my boxer shorts and, if I react, stroke me. If you notice me looking at your chest, you might lift your shirt so I have something to look at while you bring me to orgasm. I could return the favor, of course.
Once in a very great while, maybe once or twice per year if the mood struck us both at the same time, we would have sex purely for physical release. There would be little if any kissing or other play involved.
If this scenario appeals to you, let’s talk it through.
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