This'll be a long post so, before getting into why you might want to reply, a little backstory on how I got here.

Early on, sex stuff felt good, obviously, but the first time I went down on someone, something just clicked in my brain and it felt amazing making someone else all quivery and wet.

Then, I met a girl who said it would give a better angle if she was on top and, so, she sat on my face. And that was just fantastic, feeling her press down, the way her hips bucked when she came, that feeling of being in a world that consisted of just me and her pussy. I loved everything about that. With a facesitting kink unlocked, I sought it out; and, then, I met someone that asked if I'd eat her ass.

That just made everything more awesome: there was more variety, it felt dirty and taboo, it gave a new way to be pressed beneath someone else. Then, I met Cathy and things got even better.

Cathy was awesome, she loved getting her pussy eaten, she sat on my face like an endlessly horny queen, she'd alternate between ass and clit till she'd end up smothering me in these massive squirting orgasms. She had a quirk and did this interesting thing as she got closer, when she'd put her ass in my face, as I licked and she got into it, she'd push out a little which made my tongue go deeper. It was a little odd at first, different than what I was used to, but it felt good when she did it. One night, she was kind of drunk when I came over and in a bit of a saucy mood, she was a little less restrained than usual, kind of raunchy and more verbal. About halfway through, when she pushed out, she farted right in my mouth.

My first reaction, in my brain, was to feel insulted; I didn't like it. But she didn't stop, like I expected, just sort of half laughed and kept going like it didn't happen. I didn't know what to think and just moved on. She did it a second time, right before cumming, and I was less upset, I enjoyed the feeling of being trapped, the pure not give a fuck attitude of the whole thing made the physical experience better. But, still, it was a fart in my mouth, twice.

After, she said she was tired and went to sleep, we didn't talk about anything, the night just ended. While driving home, I had a 'what the fuck was that about' feeling, I thought maybe I shouldn't go back. When I got home, it turned into 'well, it wasn't so bad'. The next morning, 'I guess it makes sense if I'm already eating her ass, so I can't complain'. And, by the end of the week, 'yeah, I think about this now when I cum, wow, didn't expect that'.

So, that's why I want to do this, that's my origin story as the guy with the weird kink. But what really matters is why you should consider doing this and what you get out of it, let's talk about that.

Now, there's a small chance you're into it and have always wanted to queen a guy while farting on him. If that's you, awesome, I'm a sweet, caring guy in a poly marriage and if you're cool with that and want to hangout, have a good time, and do this, message me, I'd love to talk to you.

But, odds are, you're reading this because you're bored and the headline seemed amusing or you're morbidly curious, or something along those lines. If that's you, then I get it, but you've read a lot of words to get to this point, so maybe there's something more to it, so I'm going to shoot my shot.

First, the obvious, getting off is fun and it's nice to be the focus. I genuinely want to get you off, a lot, over and over. That's super important to me and, so, spending all night making you orgasm till you can barely move isn't something reserved for special occasions, but my default. I want you to feel beautiful, hot, fulfilled, and orgasmic.

Two, society jokes about stuff like this, but we're all supposed to be ashamed of our assholes and farting. Well, I say, nuts to that. Wouldn't it be nice to not have to hold it in and have a grumbly tummy? It's not like you haven't been there; like you've never snuck into the other room on a date and quietly let one out or were paranoid as you neared orgasm that it might come out when you came. Maybe I'm wrong here, but it seems like it'd be great to not have to do that. Not just to not have to do that, but to have the opposite reaction, to have someone enthusiastically be turned on and find it incredibly hot; what seems better 'wtf, did you just fart?' with a weird look or 'fuck, you're hot, I want to make you cum, sit on my face, I need it' from a guy with a now throbbing erection?

Third, it's intimate. Fucking can be intimate, sure, but it can also be very casual and more about rubbing some nerves together. Where the other person is at isn't always obvious. Now, not everyone cares about this, but if someone's licking your asshole while you fart, you're exposing yourself to them in a way you usually wouldn't and they're putting themselves in a position most people usually wouldn't. If you're pushing your asshole out on my face, you aren't just some faceless lay I'm getting off with; it's close, it's personal, it's raw and real, and I want you. Some people feel like kink stuff is objectifying, but I feel the opposite - if I'm doing this with you, I want to see the real you because, hey, I'm letting you literally fart on me, I want to connect and will cherish you the person.

Fourth, it's easy to do and low risk. Some kinks are hard: intricate bondage needs like a book and all sorts of practice, that's a commitment. Some kinks bring risk. Want choked? Fun, I suppose, but you can end up injured. Some kinks can hurt. Want roughly ass fucked? Good times, but that can bring tears and not always the good kind. And some kinks can get messy; pissing all over someone: get the mop. But this, no such hurdles. Farting isn't hard, it doesn't hurt, it doesn't cause injury, it isn't messy. There isn't a lot that can go wrong; sure, farting can go bad because it can embarrass, but we've already established it's the exact opposite here. So what's left? Not having to clench your ass cheeks and hope it passes, that's not a bad price of entry.

Fifth, it's kind of playful, lighthearted. Getting choked or slapped, or roughed up, can be a rush during sex, and that's great, but farting is kind of fun in a way other kinks and sex acts aren't. It's hot (I think), it's intimate (very), but it also has a fun side. Everyone's laughed at a fart joke, and there's something irreverent and not so heavy serious about doing it on someone as they get you off - not in a 'you're the joke' kind of way, but a 'not everything is always so fucking serious' kind of way. And, honestly, that's kind of cool these days when by the time you've had your morning coffee three people have gotten grouchy at you on the Internet. It's fun to laugh and if you're farting on my face, you can definitely have a giggle at it if you feel like it, I don't mind, I think that's awesome and encourage it, enjoy yourself.

Finally, some non-sex stuff. I'm almost forty and married. Now, that sounds like a mark against, but it's the opposite. That tells you that I'm reasonably mature, I'm not going to suddenly ghost you or get all weird after I get off, and that I'm not coming from some a super insecure place. I know what I want, why I want it, I'm not uncomfortable saying it, and I'm not going to suddenly have unpleasant mixed feelings over it. What's more, I'm not a dick. I have a wife, a wife that loves and likes me enough that she gave this post a read over and will ask if I've met anyone cool when my phone chimes. Think about how many relationships you've seen where the people don't get along; I've got a wife that asks me if I've met any awesome women to fart on me; you don't get that kind of relationship by being a dick. So, whatever happens, I'm probably not an asshole that's going to say and do asshole things.

So, yeah, this is different and maybe you're not swayed - if so, I hope this was a fun read. However, if you'd like to give this a try, that's awesome; let's talk, let's hangout, let's watch silly stuff on streaming, cuddle and kiss, and, then, let's see how many times you can cum while you fart and laugh and quiver and moan and, you know, just have a good time with the whole weird thing:-)

(PS: I write a lot, a whole bunch, but you don't have to. This is a big post, but you don't have to send a big reply. I'm not saying don't do that, write whatever feels natural, but don't feel overwhelmed, this is supposed to be fun, not stressful. If you want to write another novel to me, awesome, I'll read every word and write a detailed reply; if you're a fan of brevity, wonderful, we complement one another: I've got details, you've got flow.)