First, if you're here to lecture me about my health/ make assumptions that I do not 'care for myself', I expect you to include a photo of your PhD in medicine. My health isn't your business unless you are, in fact, a doctor of medicine.

Second, no. I don't use Snapchat, and I don't chat outside of reddit unless I'm comfortable with you. If you try to rush this, expect to be blocked.

Third, low effort messages will be ignored. Give me something even a little bit interesting to reply to or relate to.

Me- short, fat, bespectacled, bisexual. I love to tease. I don't submit to any ole dude off the street, so don't pop up in my DMs with that assumption. If I've piqued your curiosity, there are some preview goodies on my profile.

Things that turn me on- praise, oral, anal, DDLG, and more. Emotional intelligence. Sense of humor. Foreskin. Hard limits: most bodily fluids (shit, piss, vomit, spit), stretching to prolapse, long term damage inducing play, anything illegal.

I'm open to trans folks and envies, too. 🌈

Send me a veggie emoji if you read this far.