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I think nowadays there is a lot of societal pressure on guys. Men are expected to be responsible for both their own and their counterpart's orgasm. I don't think that's fair nor that it's natural. I would expect that naturally there used to be more emphasis on the male orgasm and on sex as something that was primarily for the male orgasm as that had more of a function. Not that it's not nice to have an orgasm but purely biologically speaking the male orgasm has more importance.
Sex has several functions: pleasure, reproduction and social. I think in general men are naturally more focused on the pleasure part (even when they are focused on the women, they still view pleasure as the focus point even if then it's her pleasure)) while for women the focus is more often on the social part. Not that it's everytime and for everyone like that but in general, on average. And now we as a society act like men and women are the same but in sex that meant that the male view on sex was projected on women and I think that is bad.
In a more natural order there would be much more emphasis on the male orgasm. Not just because of it's function in reproduction but also since men have on average a higher need for pleasure (which is also why they on average masturbate more often and have a higher libido). The male orgasm also plays the biggest role in the social function as sex is also to maintain the relationship. Since men have a higher libido, they get frustrated more easily when they don't have enough sex, while for many women the enjoyment of sex is not about her orgasm per se but about the moment together, feeling the connection and feeling each other close by. That also explains why on average men are more active, dominant and the initiators of sex, while women are more often passive, submissive and the ones who agree or disagree to have sex. And when he ejaculates that's the natural end of sex for me.
Maybe I talk to much about this as something general but I think sex used to be much more like this. That is how it would be without the societal pressure. At least it's how I think about sex. I still really enjoy sex, but I get my enjoyment out of different things. I'd like to discuss this with anyone who'd like to. I understand this is a controversial topic for many but I think it's interesting. I don't see myself as anti women or anti feminist, just as a realist in terms of sex. I don't think putting the male perspective of sex onto women is pro women. Anyways, if you'd like to talk, just send me a chat request in either English or Dutch.
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