People have told me I'm hot since I was in high school...and it's always "hot" – I rarely get called "beautiful" or "gorgeous" or "attractive," and I almost never get called "pretty" or "cute." And you know what? They're right.

Sure, I'm a little conceited, but it's not hard to see why. I'm a 5'9", pale, very dark-haired brunette. Hazel eyes, high cheekbones, delicate chin, great posture. Active and flexible (regular yoga attendee). Loud personality – extroverted, friendly, flirty, spontaneous. Naturally thin/skinny build (ribcage-showing stuff when my weight dips) that I've supplemented with hours in the gym and years of playing organized sports. It's not like I have NO ass, but it's more on the slim/pert/small/toned side. My tits get way more attention than anything else (even my face or winning personality) – they're just really big for my light, thin frame (D or DD, depending) and sit really high on my chest (people sometimes assume that they're fake for that reason). Classic uppercase P body shape. Missionary position dream girl. You know.

I'm happily married to the man of my dreams and would never, ever cheat on him, but sometimes I can't help thinking about how great it was to be single...

...'cause hey, I'll be the first to admit it – I was a huge, HUGE slut for most of my 20s.

I cashed in on my looks and personal magnetism and racked up a ridiculously high body count during college (...and during my gap years...and later, when I was "dating" during law school...). It wasn't all drunken hookups and Tinder dates, though I had more than my fair share of both. I had tons of sober hookups, short-term flings, "unserious boyfriends" (and toxic exes), and FwB arrangements. I looked the part, too: I got some regrettable tattoos, went through several party phases, dyed my hair wild colours a few times. Almost everyone on my college campus knew about me.

I accrued several reputations during my five-year (lol) stint in college, but three really stood out in most people's minds. First, that I'd sleep with anyone who had a big dick; second, that I'd fuck any guy who was 6'2" or taller and could make me laugh; third, I'd give head for favours (carpooling, concert tickets, helping me move, etc.). Each of those reputations had a basis in fact.

I'd love to talk to horny, well-spoken Redditors about my hotpast/slut era, what my husband might or might not know, what I miss and what I don't miss, and just kinda...swap stories! See where the theme takes us.

If you're not gonna write in full, well-punctuated sentences (periods included), I'm probably not gonna wanna talk to you. Them's the breaks. Put "coconut" somewhere in your message so I know you read all the way to the end.