Right?

Taking care of our mental health in this country is too expensive.

Therapists wanna charge you $120/hour to "process your trauma" and "talk through your feelings." And of course they say things like, "maybe you're engaging in self-destructive behaviors because you don't value yourself." No shit, Sherlock, did it take you a three-figure student loan to offer up that brilliant conclusion?

Of course you're self-destructive. I mean, you're a slut, right? A cute little feminist suckpet who talks big principles in front of her friends, but gladly gets down on all fours in the bedroom and shakes her pretty little ass while waiting to get glazed with my sperm.

You're exactly the kind of bitch I like taking home. Yeah, honey, I can keep up. I can talk about Simone de Beuvoir and Rebecca Solnit with you. We can have an illuminating conversation about emotional labor and the male gaze and the very real dangers of pornography.

But we both know you're going to end the night with my balls squished against your chin while you finger your gushing cunt.

I thought you said you didn't fuck on the first date? Yeah, right. Then why'd you wear a fucking red g-string tonight, huh?

Just accept it, sweetheart. You were always going to end up face down, ass up, with my cock shoved between your folds. But if it makes you feel better, you can tell yourself that I "talked you into it" or was "too aggressive." God knows you don't have enough self-respect to take responsibility for wanting to get fucked stupid hard.

And that’s fine, sugar. Just fucking swell. You wanna pretend like you’re well-read and thoughtful and refined? Have at it, honey. See what I care. I sure as hell don’t give a fuck how you wanna square those high standards with the fact that you’re about to swallow me to the hilt. Or how you call me “Daddy” in every text message. Bet you hide that from your judgmental friends too. Do they know I make you snap a picture of your tits and cunt every day? Or that I always take a video of my handiwork after I finish cumming on your face, tits, or ass? I’ve got a folder labeled “dumb slut” and it’s all you, babe.

Just last night you were gagging on my dick while I scrolled through pics of you in that basic bitch schoolgirl costume you’re gonna wear for Halloween. Naturally, you’ll tell everyone it’s some ironic commentary on the patriarchy. You wish you were that clever. And I know you get wet when you slip into that miniskirt and think about me bending you over your dresser or your kitchen counter.

Anyway, that’s enough talking for today. Your little brain might get overworked from all these complex emotions. Better keep it to taking dick and looking pretty. Put on that pink collar that says “cumslut” and get your ass over here.

Sound fun?

Let's chat.