I sat there and watched a toddler three booths over refuse to eat his food. Where I grew up, the father would say, “I work too hard for you to be such a picky eater.” And I felt in that moment that that’s exactly what the tired father should say to his son.

But the more I thought about it, maybe being picky isn’t so bad. Maybe it’s a sign of a level of wisdom or discernment that some of us only learn to possess at an advanced age. I can’t go back and unthink those thoughts. I can’t go back in time to that sailboat-shirted boy and say, “Stay the course, young man.”

Which brings me to you and how I might evaluate if we’re a good fit or not. I think any man would hesitate to call himself picky. It sounds feminine and high maintenance. An inability to roll with whatever life may bring his way.

But, I am picky when it comes to who I invest in. It sounds pretentious to say that my time and energy spent interacting with you is an investment. But it also would be dismissive of who I am as a person to say that I don’t view my time, attention, and energy as a valuable resource that should be allocated wisely and not wasted.

This feels too serious. Too formal for what I’m looking for. I hate high protocol and the overly ornate aspects of bdsm. It can be reduced down to you and I figuring out how we fit together. Anything more complicated than that feels unnecessary and over the top. I do not want you to go down a checklist of items and routines to figure out what to do. I want you to feel compelled by something deep inside you to follow my words until you can barely think anymore.

I’m looking for a woman that understands the art and joy of flow. To feel like a conversation is flowing with you. The give and take of attention and pace. To be able to speed up as we reach a high point and slow down as we move away from that high point to give ourselves a chance to catch our breath.

And to understand flow in a sexual dynamic. The give and take of the submissive and dominant. You need to be able to give up control at the appropriate times. Sometimes it will be exciting and engaging and it will feel like the easiest thing in the world. Other times it will be challenging. I will push you past the point that it feels easy and into a new place. I hope you’re okay with going deeper than you have before.

I am picky about the quality of who you are. The character and depth that you bring to our interactions. I am less picky about what you are. Although, I suspect the women I get along best with are 30 , oftentimes married, and looking for that magic that they haven’t felt in a while or ever at all.

I am looking for a woman who is educated and self-aware enough to articulate the feelings and concerns she has as we play. I want to make you say the things you never thought you’d say as you push deeper into your own desires and understanding of yourself.

Perhaps this all feels overwhelming. Or underwhelming, or just right. If it feels just right, I’m not sure why you haven’t replied already. You’re wasting both our time. If you’re underwhelmed, you should message me and tell me how terrible this post is. Maybe you’ll make a terrible first impression and a decent point. Lastly, the overwhelmed. We’ll go slow. Let me know that you don’t normally reply to messages like this. You’re looking for an escape this weekend and something caught your attention.

My own particular interests are in the psychological aspects of play. The details are easy to discuss and work through, but I tend to favor orgasm denial, forced orgasms, body writing, public play, and forcing dilemmas on you that force you to choose your own degradation or humiliation.