Prologue

An adventurous ad, eloquent yet elongated. If you decide to journey with me, please read through the whole post, as I’m easily misunderstood. Our subsequent choices will matter for our path, where will our decisions destine us to? 👀

Chapter Ⅰ: About me

To begin, my tantalising, yet tumultuous tale is scribed with anxiety, excellence, generosity, heroism, justice, kindness, limerence, neuroticism, optimism, piety, quirks, romance, sorrow, utility, wisdom, xenophilia, youth, zeal—indeed an idiosyncratic individual. A figure fierce with fire, despite my misanthropic mire, as my violent, yet valiant vulnerability somehow beguiles the bullying, burlesque bozos to me lol. Whilst mayhap the unparalelled gift to the gentlest gentlewomen? Endowing my crucial, compassionate care, that hopefully expunges your desolate, devastating despair? 🥰

A Pakistani British progressive Muslim (or spiritual theist, too long to explain the nuances lol), nerdy with video games (Nintendo, retro, JRPGs (Dragon Quest, Final Fantasy, Xeno especially)), tech (particularly cybersecurity/privacy), animals, languages (an aspiring polyglot, learning Japanese currently), psychology, humanities, (geo)politics, geography and random trivia (mum says I know too much lol). As you can see, a combination of changing cultures and creeds.

Lean progressive/socialist, whilst wisely trying to be open-minded…even with ‘controversial’ people—a decisive devil’s advocate. The best oxymoron are ethical billionaires. 😂

Clingy and cuddly, lavishing lots of loving attention and affection, dreaming being pursued by my maiden in shining armour that wants to protect me. An INFJ on the MBTI, connoisseurs seeking deep & intelligent, yet emotional & authentic conversation—vibes valued much from anyone I’m with. :)

Random facts:

• Prefer female friends, having many online whom I love dearly, and in return. Peek my profile for a testimonial!
• I cosplay at cons, started to craft. Won’t reveal for now, but I wield a sword 👀
• In therapy for high functioning autism & BPD, struggle with society, feeling both a normie and weirdo everywhere—it’s hell.
• Seek physical fitness, but slacking. Need to be more um…menacingly manly? Hehe 💪
• Not much of a foodie that my life revolves around it.
• Out of touch with popular culture mostly… 🥹
• Appreciate happy moments, but Halloween, Christmas and Valentine’s Day is cringe to me. Much of ‘Muslim culture’ is too lol
• Never been on vacation, though I’d like to visit the vast world.
• Swiped right 0.8% of ~35,000 Bumble profiles, a picky bastard indeed. 😂

Physical attraction is vital (though I care more about personality), will exchange pics once I’m comfortable. I look and sound adorably, alluringly attractive, apparently. A brief overview: light skinned, hazel eyes (somehow people can’t escape my eyes), black curly hair, 5’8, slim side. Sound like a soothing ASMR-ish Londoner raised here lol

Chapter Ⅱ: Sexuality

Being too vanilla for kinky people—and vice versa, while being a bottom, I seek a vanilla-ish relationship with a gently gracious, yet feistily flirty service top domme. Lovingly nurture, yet sultry shake the shit out of me. A corruptible in-person kissless virgin. As your free-range male slut, I’d hope the mumbling moans and orgasms organically pressed and produced from me would gratifyingly get you off. Although being masochistic, I am mouldable how you see fit, doing what pleases you…it feels incumbent doing the ‘right’ things, and get your praise and validation. In other words, I’m quick quivering to your demanding, daring demeanor… 😳

Not only that, I’m ripe prey for an orally fixated predator—kisses, bites and blowies ignites my instincts…it’s a slight primal thing I have? Pleasing you too? Again, as your free-ranging organic prey, I imagine whimpering and writhing from my ‘fear’ of you. While you, intoxicated with powers of probing, pouncing, and preying upon me, trying to ‘resist’. But you win, devouring your delicious delicacies squirting from my squirming soul… @.@

Expressions of male, perversions and sex positivity are hot, love women open with their sexual desires and jokes; I visit some women-oriented places to see that lust. It’s nice being praised and objectified, and not worry being judged because of my horny. Please be a heathen compared to me, I want to feel ‘innocent’. 😂

Chapter Ⅲ: Potential Clashes and Preferences

As honesty is best policy, coupled with not ‘faking’ my liking for you, here’s things we could clash on…but perhaps we can work things out, so not strict ‘dealbreakers’:

• Avoidant people. Unsure how I magnetise them, and it’s draining. I want to feel wanted, not constantly fighting for your attention. And don’t ghost me man, it fucking hurts! If you have issues, tell me so we can work together. I’m not perfect, nor a mindreader (I wish). 😭
• Younger women. I prefer slightly older women than me, but please be 20 .
• Not into trans/NB people, sorry.
• Lack of voice calls. If we vibe, I’d want to call soon after; feels more ‘real’. Hope to meet in person too, especially if near.
• Radical feminism (aka man-hating). I prefer calling myself an egalitarian, caring about everyone’s rights. Both misogyny and misandry are cringe, though my sarcastic humour pokes at gender stereotypes, haha. Love so-called ‘pick me’ women best.
• Drugs/smoking/alcohol. I don’t consume them and mostly don’t like others consuming too.
• Socials I’d only migrate to: Telegram, WhatsApp, Signal or Session. Respect that I won’t use Discord, Snapchat, or others.

Intimate clashes:

• Tattoos/piercings/makeup. Prefer the more ‘natural’ look, not into hardcore goth or women really into make-up.
• Wanting me to ‘dom’ you. As much as I’d love blowjobs, I loathe head-grabbing and degrading women. And I’m not your fucking daddy 🤮
• Focused on PIV sex. I feel nothing erotic thinking about it, which I guess is odd? It’s more romantic for me instead.
• Excess cruelty/harsh words. I’m sensitive, and I could get upset even if it’s just a joke.
• Blood, piss and shit stuff.
• Anal/pegging…though maybe I can if you convince me really hard enough? 😂
• Feminisation/crossdressing…I know I’m eccentric, but not like that. Definitely not a femboy/sissy lol
• A BDSM lifestyle. Like I said, I seek something vanilla-ish, I don’t want a dominatrix, nor be subservient to you 24/7. Life isn’t about sexual dynamics to me.
• Clothing like lingerie/leather makes me zzz…personality matters more…

Not sure if I want some form of ethical non-monogamy in the future, or kids.

Finally, the biggest bump: being judgemental. I realise what I seek is niche and hard to find. I’m…tragically terrified doing the ‘wrong’ thing. Yet determined to find what I’m destined for. Compromising what’s critical to me just isn’t worth living through, so please be compassionate and understanding, rather than judging and nitpicking. Tl;dr don’t be a jealous, judgemental cunt, or you’ll fucking get what’s coming 👀

Epilogue

Now you have the information needed if you want to tread this perilous path with me, please select your desired route, each with its own ending. Remember, our choices matter:

Route Ⅰ: ghosted, bad ending. An 80% rate of me ghosted…will you be the victorious 20%? 😭

Route Ⅱ: platonic friendship ending, men open too…hope the RNG of life at least gets us this 12% rate. 🥹

Route Ⅲ: ethical flirtationship/FWB ending, emphasis on friend, still ‘serious’. 7% rate.

Route Ⅳ: your favourite person in the world ending, that we—my heroine—will be together, forever…but unlikely, with a 1% rate. 😂

To inquire, please be kind, make me feel safe and preferably use Reddit chat, briefing about yourself what ignites your interest in me wanted route location age (not low effort like “Hey”)! Again, if you feel we won’t fit quite right, don’t hesitate to message. I’ll respond to everyone (if you’re not an obvious bot or troll), and I’m sure something can be worked out, so hopefully your effort isn’t wasted (I know what it’s like). Relationships are about making each other happy, compromising suitably to ensure that. :)