I'm a 30 yo out and proud lesbian femme in real life. Some time ago I posted how I began craving cock for the first time in my life after a cute guy had been flirting with me at the bar. We exchanged numbers but I had blocked him and then turned to explore this (whatever this is) online, but then I got cold feet because I have a girlfriend and deleted everything I posted on Reddit.

I tried to stay away from it all, but I failed when I unblocked that guy and we started talking again. Things weren't going too well with my girlfriend (I feel a little suffocated by her, and that's why I feel like I can't explore safely or even try toys with her) and I was feeling lonely one night. He invited himself over. We played video games and then turned on Netflix, he was so touchy and all hugs, I definitely needed a cuddle. One thing led to another and he began kissing my neck. I didn't stop him because I was curious, it was my first time doing anything with a man, but then he went from 0 to 100 and whipped it out while we were spooning and put the tip in. I guess I had encouraged this with my body language—while sudden, I could have said something or stopped him, but I didn’t. I did tell him off after a little while and asked him to leave.

I blocked the guy again, however… I can’t stop thinking about it. My mind and body can’t forget the sensation of having something thicker than my fingers inside me and being in the arms (and at the mercy) of a strong guy. He felt and smelled so differently compared to my gf. I keep touching myself at the thought of it—it was crazy how good it felt, even through the panic. It was like my body came alive and awakened. His hands grabbing at me, him trying to push deeper… just writing this makes me wet. And to think the thought of having something like that inside me and guys in general made me balk before!

So here I am, trying to explore some more until I muster the courage to fully take my first cock. I’ve been told by some redditors that it would be easy for me to get it whenever I wanted, even though I don’t have much self-esteem. For reference, I have wavy chestnut hair, hazel eyes, plump lips, round face. Generous curves, feminine style. I've been told I make heads turn and that 'I don't come off as gay', whatever that means.

I'm looking for men willing to help me with this and who won't judge me. I want to get used to talking to men, learn what makes you tick, what you would do to me, and what I should do to you. I'd like to get used to staring at a man’s body and cock, as I don’t have much visual experience either, and find my taste. Or... I don't know, honestly! Even just talking, anything. Bonus points if you feel comfortable leading as idk what I'm doing, lol.

Let me know a bit about yourself if you hit me up. (If I haven’t answered, try again—the chat gets buggy.)