Hello new friend! I'm Ethan.

I'm an experienced and talented Dominant living in Oakland, and I'm looking to cultivate an ongoing D/s dynamic with a local submissive.

About me

By day, I'm the head of technology at a software startup. By night, I'm usually asleep. (I'm an insomniac and so I keep to a strict Ayurvedic sleep schedule (because some book told me to and if there's one thing I deeply believe in - it's books.))

I'm educated, patient, persistent, stable, smart, twisted, ethical, methodical, thorough, deviant, and (I like to think) pretty funny.

I'm white, 5'11, fit and HWP, with blue eyes, long brown hair and a beard. (Pretty Jesus-lookin' overall.)

I will take the time to really get to know you and to understand as deeply as I can what fertilizes the roots of your dark desires. I'll give you the time, stability, and reassurance to feel safe expressing and inhabiting your intense erotic energy. And then I'll exploit that knowledge to provide endless adult entertainment and to leave you a squirming and satisfied mess.

My kinky interests and skills are pretty broad:

• Unsurprisingly, I like domination, discipline, and protocol. This can extend outside the bedroom - I'm quite good at and enjoy helping women make and stick to plans to achieve difficult long-term goals.

• I'm pretty into degradation / humiliation (but it's not mandatory.) I particularly love the way a girl looks when she's both embarrassed and about to cum.

• I guess you could call me a "pleasure dom." With me, you're going to cum a lot (but only when I tell you to.)

• I'm a mild sadist -- mostly I enjoy the part where I leave pretty marks to remind you where I've been.

• I'm objectively pretty smart and professionally successful, and so I enjoy mentoring women and feeling like I'm a constructive presence in your life (beyond the obviously positive corruption and degrade I provide.)

• I'm also kind of ridiculous. I was a comedian in college and unfortunately for you I still think I'm pretty funny so you'd better have a sense of humor (otherwise you're really not going to like it when I edge you by making jokes when you just want me to shut up and let you orgasm.)

• For me, the physical side of kink is mostly subordinate to the mental. But I've got a well-stocked toybox full of paddles, floggers, whips, plugs, gags, vibrators, hoods, and rope. (Ask me about the fuck saw!)

• My interests outside of kink are also pretty broad - I'm very into philosophy, technology/software, AI (and AI art), statistics, history, comedy, politics (world, national, and these days mostly local), economics and political economy, video and board games, and (more recently) pharmacologically-enhanced spirituality.

• I know a bit about a lot of things and enjoy teaching you weird factoids and sending you brain-fried memes after making you cum.

What I'm looking for:

I like smart, ambitious, curious, kinky women. I'm looking for someone who basically has her life together, but is maybe just a bit too buttoned up and needs someone to rip off that button-down blouse and help her shamelessly discover and express her inner raging slut.

Maybe you're smarter than your boss, and you wonder what it would be like, just once, to take orders from a more intelligent man. Maybe you are the boss and you die a little bit every time the boys in your life do exactly what you tell them instead of raising the black flag and slitting throats. Maybe you wake up every morning, look at your partner in bed and touch yourself while thinking of someone else and vividly imagining all the depraved things he'd do to you. Maybe you've got a fire inside (maybe a very dark fire) that you're tired of suppressing and are ready to let rage.

Maybe you're stuck in a milieu that places constant, incessant demands on how you should act, how you should look, how you should think. You're surrounded by people who won't accept who you really are. You're entrapped in your own conscience that's constantly trying to constrict and contort you into the shape that your upbringing or your religion or your family or your culture or community tells you that you must be.

I will dig deep enough into your mind to find the real "you", the primal, aboriginal animal essence that you've bricked over with layer after layer of inhibition. I will break your seal, and I will build a space for us where you can learn who you really are and how to access and embrace your true self.

What you're really missing is freedom. Not freedom to make your own choices, but freedom from your own choices.

I will set you free.

And then make you cum, over and over and over.

Flirting and buildup are fun, so you'd better have a talented tongue and be more than just basically literate.

I like being able to make a positive impact in your life, so I click particularly well with people on the verge of some major life transition, e.g. students about to graduate or women considering a new career.

I live in the East Bay outside of San Francisco in California. Online dynamics can be fun and I'm open to starting online, but for the moment I really am looking for someone I can meet in person at least semi-regularly, so being within a short drive of the Bay Area is a must.

Also, just to put it out there now in case it's a dealbreaker: you should know that I am in an open marriage. So I am looking to Dominate, not to date.

And that's me! Let's meet and have a wildly irresponsible amount of fun.

Send me a Reddit chat and let's see where things go.