I'm a human being who wants to be seen and loved by another human being who also wants to be seen and loved. You and I are both more than the sum of our fetishes, and deserve to be treated as more than kink dispensers. I'm not a therapist at all, and irrespective of your profession you're at least not my therapist, and although I find the idea of blurring that power boundary pretty hot if you happen to be a therapist I expect your professional ethics would keep you from taking me on as an official paying client anyway. Not that I don't need a new therapist mind you.

I value true equality and egalitarianism in relationships, even if I enjoy dabbling in power play. I used to say I was a submissive leaning switch, but I think the truth is I'm more of a bottom leaning switch who wants to take what you want to give, although there are layers to that as well and for the right person I really am submissive and can turn into your drooling little mindless mess of a plaything. (Believe it or not, I also have a small dominant side that can come out with the right partner — as always, it's about chemistry and how we both feel on any given day.)

Long term I want a relationship, something loving and mutually supporting and fulfilling for all the hardships and wonders and joys and triumphs and setbacks and difficulties and pains and pleasures of everyday life. Even if I could wave a magic wand and make life disappear to live in a sex fantasy bubble, I wouldn't; there's so much more out there. But also, I have no such magic wand so we might as well embrace that any dynamic we may evolve together must fit within the confines of reality.

Like all people, I'm a mixed bag of personality traits, skills, baggage, and areas that need improvement. I'm well employed and mostly enjoy it most of the time, and I'm regarded as good at my job. I'm fairly fit after putting in a lot of concerted effort, and the effort is ongoing and I'm committed to being as fit as possible as I age. I am divorced with half time custody of children. I deal with depression with medicine and food and fitness, but I need to get back into therapy. I have some fun and productive hobbies, and a few time wasting hobbies, but sometimes can't bring myself to play with the good ones and over-indulge in the bad ones. I'm introverted and shy in groups, and haven't maintained all that many friendships through adulthood.

Today I'm feeling rather lonely and masochistic, desiring attention and even degradation and humiliation. And so: I made this post. (Is that healthy? Perhaps with enough self-awareness, I hope.) My primary limits are no scat, no permanent marks; no incest, kids, or animals; no raceplay or body shaming.

I also require an awareness of my own humanity. But if you can see me as a person, I'll let you do the dirtiest things to me.

(I am heteroflexible; generally this is M4F but M4MF, M4T, M4R are all within my realm of desire for the right people.)