TLDR/ Want your pussy licked and titles sucked and to be tantalized so your legs shake when you cum? Want the thrill of being with both a married man and a woman at the same time in a recurring threesome? HMU.

We’re a professional, discreet, fun, no-drama married couple in our early 40’s looking for a woman to hang out with us from time to time in Chicago for dinner, concerts, club scene (Radius near Chinatown?) and some intense pleasure in being sexually serviced by us both.

Recently divorced or broke up with your boyfriend and need a good fuck to make your legs shake? Maybe Bi-curious and want to find out more with little risk? Maybe you’re just overworked and don’t have time for regular dating drama and need to relieve stress by spreading your legs for a smart redhead to lick your kitty while a classy guy sucks your needy titties? Reach out to us and let’s see if there’s a fit!

Her: 41 [F] - red hair, blue eyes, pale white skin with arm freckles. 5’7” and 190 lbs, size 14, curvy/thick former-military MILF bod, 38C boobies, clean and shaven pussy, loves having her neck nibbled, likes deep throating, and swings either submissive or dominant depending on the responses that fuel you. Loves makeup, jewelry, and wears lingerie. Highly educated. Non-smoker, rare drinker, 420 friendly. Works hard, plays hard. Drives faster than she should. Saucy smart ass. Similar to Drew Barrymore.

Him: 42 [M] - brown hair, hazel eyes, white skin. 6’2” and 250lbs, strong/slightly pudgy dad bod. Trimmed, wide beard goatee facial hair and glasses. Clean and shaven cock area. Slightly dominant total gentleman. (C’mon, he’s a dad to teenage girls - he’s respectful as fuck. Unless you’re like his wife and want him to call you dirty names….) he is NOT looking to do PIV or PIA with you unless after several successful meetups he feels comfortable doing so for your comfort. Until then, he desires to stick with using his hands, tongue, and toys on you. He’s highly educated, non-smoker, light drinker, no drugs. Straight as an arrow, so no men invited to the bedroom. Likes ice hockey, Billy Joel, Deadmau5, and plays guitar and violin. Similar to Chris Pratt meets Adam Sandler. Funny as fuck, too. :)

You: Female age 25 to 52. Clean and shaven pussy. Disease-free. You care for yourself and act like it. Average to Curvy/Pudgy body, neither stick thin nor concerningly obese. But we’re realists - so Mom-bods, a little pudge, stretch marks we understand! Prefer non-smoker, and drug free (other than 420/MDMA friendly). You’re feminineand wear makeup and dress cute. Bonus that gets us excited: if you like EDM music like Martin Garrix, Robin Schulz, Skrillex, Zedd, etc. / longer hair or space buns / educated / you really like being sexual and would be excited to party with us!

Did we catch your interest? Reach out and tell us your favorite flavor of ice cream so we know you read our whole post! Send us a picture of yourself (doesn’t have to be nude) and we’ll be glad to do the same as we start chatting to see if us as a threesome would be a match.

P.S. - We own an automatic, cock pumping, fuck machine and would be happy to bring it with and let you check it out. This is about you just as much as it is about us. Our goal is to leave you very pleased. We will also do a coffee-date meet up before hand to ensure comparability and comfort, and will provide clean STD reports as needed.