I spend my time teaching people about the lifestyle at shows, in fetish learning centers and at conferences. I also listen to individuals that have had bad experiences over the course of their exploration and help them understand there is so much more. 

I have been in the BDSM community for a while. Years ago, the lifestyle was built on respect, trust and communication. The issue is the newer people into the lifestyle don't understand about those things. With the release of 50 Shades of Grey, porn and other movies on fetishes have become more common. Over the last two years the organizations that introduce more fetishes into the lifestyle have focused on more vanilla ones. Like hair color, kissing, chocolate, freckles and oral. They have done this to make it more acceptable for everyone but with the influx of new people has come the lack of understanding of the lifestyle.

I'm from the old school and when I first got into the lifestyle, I dated my professor in college. She was 49 at the time and I was that 25 year old guy that knew it all but I was so wrong. She taught me that the lifestyle starts with respect, trust and communication. You couldn't sign onto a website and you couldn't designate yourself a Dom. You actually were partnered with a mentor and learned the old school way. The theory was an aspiring Dominant needed to understand the psychological impact one can have crossing a sub's boundaries. 

Taking steps is very important. Setting limits and putting things you want to explore or have explored into separate categories. Understanding your body first is the most important. Newer Doms often overlook the little things but it is the little things that make all the difference in the world. Also without your mind your body will never follow.

What people don't understand is that the lifestyle is about creativity. Understanding that the body and mind are partners. Without one you fully never have the other. I would like to find a female that wants to explore things. Experience isn't that important, I find intelligence, openness, the ability to hold a conversation and willingness to want to learn sexy.

 If you are interested please let me know. I will be in Ontario, CA to work with a groups this week. I would like to find someone to explore with while I'm there as well.