I can finally say I lost my virginity, and I want to tell you the story of how I lost it so I can tell you what I'm looking for.

I have a friend. Let's call him Sil. Now you see, Sil is a very stressed person. Lots of pressure and stress from work, not one of the best at being a lady's man, and Sil has adult needs. Because Sil and I are somewhat close and work together, he offered to go to a sauna club. No, not just any sauna club, but the kind where the boys are walking around in bathrobes and underwear, and the ladies are walking around in lingerie, if you catch my drift.

Now, I initially declined, because I don't like the idea of getting to be intimate with a woman because I paid her(pay attention! I'm already telling you what kind of man I am!), and I can't remember how it exactly went down, but we decided to go to one of these 'sauna clubs' anyway. We arrived, and I couldn't believe my amygdala. I thought it would be a very...adult experience, so to speak.

You know those scenes in movies where they're at a dance club, and there's this sense of danger. Maybe there's drugs being smuggled or some other dark underbelly stuff going on? None of that. The whole club was dead. Not for a lack of people in it. There were people a plenty. Men in bathrobes in all sorts of complexions and ages. Ladies with all sorts of shapes and sizes and attitudes. The reason why it was dead is because all the men were looking to fuck, and all the women were out to get you to go upstairs with them and do your deed. The thing is, if you wanted to go upstairs, you had to pay fifty euros for every half-hour.

Anyway, my friend and I were sitting around, chatting with the girls, him mainly. I hadn't eaten all day, so I didn't feel like myself. We decided to eat something. They had an 'eat and drink all you want' policy. So we did. I had some rice with some tomato sauce and sautéd liver. It tasted pretty good. Nice and filling. I had come to my senses. No more hangry. I felt my own emotionally responsive self come back online.

I don't know *how* it happened, but from one moment of my friend and I sitting next to eachother, to a 'licking-honey-off-of-a-nipple' and him promising to sponsor my first sexual encounter with a lady, I decided to take the lady who had let me lick her booby upstairs.

I guess she was the definition of a 'working' girl. She didn't waste a single second in taking me to the room, preparing it and me for the business, and laid me down on my back. She did some stuff, but I couldn't get myself in the mood. It was too "I'm here to get you off, and damned if I don't I'll do my best to get there as fast as possible" for me, and my little soldier didn't want to stand at attention. I asked her to stop. I asked her to lay on her back, and I started doing the ol' lingus of the cunny.

That's when the magic hit. I could feel her body react to me. If I pulled her hood back and focused on her bean, she'd react intense. I could see the muscles in her tummy and crotch contract when I did things. I kept going. I was loving this. After a certain point, she started moaning harder, and squeezed my head between her legs. I had given her an orgasm. Whether that was her trying her hardest to 'work' for me, I'll never know.

When I laid there with my head still between her thighs, I felt that that's where I was supposed to be. I just wanted to lay there and be intimate with her. Close to her, rubbing her tummy with my finger and exploring her body. That it's okay for me to be vulnerable and intimate without it having to have a goal. That it's okay if I'm close to her, and not have to be 'useful' for anything.

That single moment, where I was laying on her tummy with my head between her legs made me genuinely want to have a lady I could learn how to be there for. I want to trace my finger across your body and see how it reacts. I want to put my mouth on your nipple and read off of your reaction if I'm doing good. I want to give you little kisses all over your body and see your expression relax. I want to soak in all the information you are giving me as a guide to making you feel good.

If you might have noticed, I'm a bit of a writer. There's a thing in literature called, "Show, don' tell.". That's what I want. I have the ability to show and tell how I feel, but I want to be the one shown for once. Don't tell me what you like. Show me.

Please send me a message if you want to show me how to make you feel good.

PS: I'm not afraid of BDSM and I am okay with one-off things. I'm here for you to show me, not for a relationship. If you feel you'd want this more than one time, I'm happy to be intimate with you.

PPS: if you're reading this but it's not for you, but you might know someone who could use this, please send it to them. I'm not desperate, but being deprived of intimacy is killing me.