While their love is unconditional, nobody holds us to higher standards than our parents. All our lives, they’re the ones who put the greatest pressure on our shoulders to perform and excel. Every “golden boy/girl” type knows exactly what I’m talking about…that fine line between pushing us to achieve our very best but sometimes holding us to expectations we can’t quite reach, which can really challenge our egos. It can be especially frustrating when sometimes it almost feels like they’re gleeful watching us fall just short because it teaches us a lesson or something…ugh. Nevertheless, the pressure can be excruciating.

When I say our “parents”, I especially means our moms. Not only do they hold us to high expectations, but they know us better than anyone. That mother-child bond is a real thing, even as an adult. They watch us more closely, with a more understanding eye. They know things we don’t even realize we know about us. And they also have an acute sense, perhaps even better than we do, of our greatest assets and our most embarrassing shortcomings. They’re our greatest cheerleaders, but their protectiveness also sometimes leads them to cherish the times when they can reign us back in. For some of us, our siblings, too carry a specially personal relationship, often one of rivalry and tension, and they, too, have interesting insights on us different from those of anyone else in the world.

The other thing about moms it that they compare us to our peers, to their friends’ kids, and we know they talk about it constantly. And the judgements never stop, from them or their friends. The good part is that for the most part, the thing about these things they notice and talk about, they only really talk about the stuff that’s public and “presentable”, the above-the-belt stuff. What our personalities are like, how good we’re going in school or work, whether we’re good at sports….. But let’s face the facts….. They’ve all seen us naked at some point. They know we’re sexual creatures. It has to have crossed their mind at least once or twice, no? Thought out how we might compare to our peers? Had judgements or guesses about us in their heads. So let’s go there, and talk a bit about it…let’s assume they have thought about us, or for the sake of this prompt, let’s force them to. And when they do, what do they think about us?

For sons/daughters:

1. First, how enthusiastically would your mom describe you and your accomplishments in life? Is she proud of you enthusiastically like she can win the conversation when she talks about your accomplishments? Or is she “proud” of you in the way that she has to be because she’s your mother, but secretly is a bit disappointed?
2. What kind of real life excruciating pressure has your mom put on you? What unreasonable standards has she held you to? What has she harped on or guilted you over? How has she triggered you with unfair comparisons? And how does she drive you crazy? How has she triggered traumas, toxicities, and fears in you that you wouldn’t have without her?
3. If she were comparing them one to one, would your mom be more impressed with your sexual prowess, or with your performance in other dimensions of life?
4. How many sexual partners would your mom guess you’ve had? Would she be impressed, judgmental, or disappointed if she knew the truth?
5. How good do you think she thinks you are at sex? Do you think she thinks you’re better than your dad? Your siblings? Or your friends?
6. If she had to guess, and you’re a guy, how big would your mom guess your dick is? What do you think makes her think that? If you’re a girl, what do you think she thinks about your breasts, and about your general attractiveness?
7. Has your mom seen you naked? What’s the story there?
8. Has your mom ever talked about sex with you? Or insinuated anything about it?
9. What embarrassing secrets does your mom know about you that you’d be petrified for others (i.e. your partner(s) or date(s) to find out?
10. Has your mom caught you masturbating? Ever found, if you’re a guy, your cum rag or jack-off materials? Or if you’re a girl, your vibrator?
11. How do you and your siblings compare? Is there competition there? If she had to pick, who do you think your mom would guess got the superior sexual genes?
12. How is your parents’ sex life? Do you think either of your parents have any unusual sexual habits or fetishes? Do you think any of them have been passed down to you?
13. Suddenly your mom knows your full sexual and dating history and has access to your full internet browsing history. What do you think her reaction is?
14. After watching you have sex, how would your mom critique you?
15. Your mom has to honestly guess whether you, your dad, your siblings, or any of your 3-4 best friends are better at sex. Who do you think she picks?
16. Getting back to the real world, if given the opportunity, if she were given the chance to know the answers to some of these questions, would your mom back off and just hope you’re happy in life, or would she jump at the chance to know your embarrassing secrets and needle you on them?

For moms:

1. I’d also love to hear from moms your responses to these questions from the reverse perspective, as a mom, thinking about your son or daughter. I’m very, very curious.

Please note: This is NOT an incest prompt. I’m not really interested in hearing about attraction to your mom. This is about a taboo spin on self-evaluation from the source with the most keenly observant eyes on us our entire lives, who we never think might be evaluating us sexually, but who’s better than anyone else at putting pressure upon our shoulders and exposing our mere mortality.

Also, if you find the idea of your mom too repulsive, feel free to swap out for another female authority figure in your life (aunt, teacher, etc.)

Anyway, if anything about this prompt is interesting to you, or if you just want to discuss how my psychology got so warped that I'm even curious about such things, send me a chat and let's talk about it.