It was a small place. Not the sort of place I'd have chosen for a first date. Far too intimate. More of a third date place. The sort of place you take someone when you're desperately trying to get in their pants. I wasn't complaining either way. Any excuse to be wined and dined. The chianti I was drinking was more than enough an excuse for a slightly overzealous date.

We'd met online, and you'd seemed really nice. We liked the same movies, music, books. It was almost too good to be true. You suggested the restaurant. Italian. It's basic, but it's a classic for a reason.

The first warning sign was when you ordered for me. Pasta Putanesca. I didn't exactly know what that meant at the time, but I guess you proved me right in the end. They call it "Whore's Pasta" for a reason. I didn't even know I liked anchovies, but I guess you proved me wrong.

The thing that struck me most about you was how well you listened, I could just sit there, drinking the wine you bought, and vent about whatever I wanted, and you didn't bat an eyelid. After about an hour, I realised how inconsiderate I'd been.

"I'm sorry, I've only been talking about myself. Please, tell me about you."

You grinned back.

"Well, I've got a hot tub, a home bar, a very nice selection of toys, and a nine inch dick".

You bought me a couple more glasses of wine, and I was persuaded to go home with you. If I'm not experimenting, I'm not living. That's what you said, anyway. You promised me cocktails in your hot tub. It didn't really get that far. We went as far as your bedroom to get the lube. I didn't really get to see the hot tub, or the bar that night. I got to see your toy collection and your cock, however. It's a good thing I didn't have work the next morning, because I would've had to limp the whole way there.

"Let's cut a deal, Sweetie.." you purred as I started to fall asleep. "This whole lovely house is yours to play in.. if.. you let me play with your pretty little body to my hearts content.. I'll even pay for your uniform?"

Well, fuck it, you can dress me up like a nun or a maid or whatever if I don't have to go back to starbucks. What's the worst that could happen?"