An astronaut's guide to sex in space

Reader, you've been selected to journey to the great beyond (no not that one). The final frontier awaits, and you unique specifications have made you an important member of the upcoming colonization missions. While there is a great deal of science and engineering to be done, do not forget that this is colonization, and therefore it's expected that sex for the act of procreation will be in your future. This should not be hard, because the selection criteria for astronauts is more selective even than Olympic athletes (and we all know what they get up to).

Sex in space though can be a hazard. And therefore this document has been created to provide you a series of "do"'s and "don't"'s when it comes to your low gravity exploits. These will take the form of a series of case studies you must read and understand before launch can proceed.

Case 1: Sex in 0g

Zero-g, or free-fall, is going to be the most common space environment. Wherever you go in the solar system, you will first have to spend a prolonged period of time in an environment with almost no gravity (see also case 2). These journeys are typically long, boring, and unimportant to science, therefore they are an ideal environment for getting to know your fellow spacefarers, and living out your living out the nine-month gestation period without dealing with the weight gain (see also document 64209 for effects of low gravity on fetal development).

Newton will always be with you in space, providing a spiritual threesome whereupon his laws will dictate your positions. For all things thrusts, there must be equal and opposite thrusts. Without an anchor point, you will struggle to perform the act. One solution is to strap-in (space is very BDSM friendly, as it turns out), securing you and your partner to stable positions. If anchor points can't be secured with ropes, then you'll need to use your hands on the walls around you, making the act rather less intimate. A solution to that can be for one partner to brace and the other to lever themselves off of them. Just beware that their "up" may not comply with yours!

You must also consider the production of fluids. Sweat and those other liquids partial to the act of procreation will not long remain on vigorously moving bodies. They will begin to bead off and accumulate in the environment around you. Where quantities are large, they may form large, floating bubbles. Beware splashing into one and ending up covered in something unexpected! One partner may wish to use a certified "sucker" to clean the environment. A vacuum hose should be available, but if not, we encourage the drawing of straws, quite literally.

Finally, if the environment is large, it might be that one or both partners get "stuck" floating in the center of the room without a surface to push off of. In these scenarios, "pushing off" your partner is ideal, but should you end up separated, the best way to get moving again will be propulsion. For male's, the production of propulsion should be easy. For females, it may require a bit more effort. In either case, masturbation with help visually from a partner is recommended, and then patience, as your impulse will not be very large.

Case 2: Sex in simulated gravity

Simulated gravity can be achieved in free-fall by the use of rotating bodies (not those kind!). Typically, these environments are toroids, which are tubes looped around back onto themselves. This in part because of their moment of inertia, but also the mitigation of "tidal" effects. The force of the simulated gravity will be proportional to the square of the distance from the rotation center. This means that an object (or person) at the far outer edge of the moving environment will experience more gravity than one an inner ring. Depending on the height of your partner, one of you may experience such effects, which can be disorienting and may cause unexpected bodily rotations (simulated gravity is rarely more than 0.1 to 0.3 g with current technology).

You must also consider that a rotating inertial frame, which you are now in, will experience Coriolis effects. These effects are the tendency for moving objects within the rotating frame to deviate from straight paths (Newton is still mostly with us), with respect to the rotating frame, which will be the frame of those present. This may throw off the rhythm of participants, leading to possible bodily harm unless counteracting rotation is performed or movements kept short and quick. We suggest liberal use of hip rotations.

Case 3: Sex in low gravity

True gravity on a planetary surface is likely to be less than that of Earth's anywhere in the solar system. Mars has about 40% that of Earth, and the moon only about 16%. As such, a couple may expect it's closer to sex in simulated gravity, or in free fall. This is far from the case, though some lessons still apply (proper bracing is still highly recommended).

Low gravity will be somewhere between these other two cases, requiring bracing and the awareness of Newton's presence, but without the accumulation of fluids, or inertial frame confusions. It is best if both partners are properly engaged physically in these environments, as it can be very easy to launch one partner away from the other, requiring a less then elegant "chase sequence" across the bedroom.

Otherwise, low gravity is a very safe environment! We encourage adventurous positioning, but do in a confined, pressured space, low gravity may not properly mix the surrounding air by natural convection. Expect the room to get hot, and for scents to linger.

Case 4: Sex in high gravity

A high gravitational environment is unlikely to occur naturally in our solar system, but may take place when a space ship undergoes periods of high acceleration. These will likely not be terribly long, so command recommends resisting the temptation to procreate during these times, but natural urges cannot always be controlled. In that case, please refer to this document for safe practices.

High gravitational environments can be quite dangerous, as it may lead to increased impact, and scenarios of smothering. We recommend less acrobatic position, and shorter, faster thrusting, preferably in a direction perpendicular to the direction of "gravity". Expect to work hard for the task, to get generate a great deal of sweat, and to be a bit achy; these are all normal and expected.

In a high gravity environment, there may be difficulty if one partner greatly outsizes the other, so keep this in mind when making your proposals to coworkers to join you in the act.

Closing

We hope that these tips will help you to safely navigate the sexy solar system. Please consider following up with the appendices considering special cases including: sex in low pressure (A) sex in modified space suits (B), sex in high pressure (C), sex in fluids (D), and sex with different possible extraterrestrial morphologies (F, in progress).

This was probably not all that sexy, I admit that, but it was kind of fun to write and so I hope it was kind of fun to read! It's good to be educated, and hopefully this will inspire you to some space based prompts of your own. I'm all about good education here, no ulterior motives whatsoever.

That said I am happy to develop this into some roleplays, probably none terribly long term, but one-off scenes in these different sorts of scenarios. Perhaps someone would like to take a spin at writing one of the appendices for shits and giggles? Probably not, but who knows.

If you had fun reading this prompt, I encourage you to check out my post history for other productions of mine, some sillier, some less silly. If any stand out to you feel free to message me and I'm sure I'll get you a response. If not, enjoy your evening you perverts!