Fuck.

Living in a broken down camper under the freeway fucking sucks. Especially if, like me, you're old, worn out, broke, perpetually exhausted, insane, demented, addicted to weed to cope with your life of suffering, and terminally horny. Arguably more so when you're a woman; typically seen as more vulnerable prey than a homeless man. And nearly zero people want to fuck an old homeless woman. It's enough to make you a hardcore nihilist bitch.

While out collecting cans and scanning for valuables with my metal detector, trying to add a meagre few bucks to my monthly food stamps and laughable disability payment, I suffered the latest in a string of break-ins - probably another desperate homeless person. They stole what little of value was there, including my most prized possession - my rechargeable hitachi magic wand, and the solar panel I use to charge it and my other electronics.

Luckily, I had my phone on me while I was out, so I can now turn to the gutter of reddit for support.

Fellow scum, would even one of you be interested in an ugly, bitter, old hag living under a bridge like a real world mythology troll? I suspect not, but I might as well throw out this message in a bottle.

I'm looking for a young, rich, athletic, hot, humble, respectful, kind, compassionate lover with a magic dick or cunt or tentacle and Belle Delphine's toy closet who can sweep me off my feet and whisk me away to a life of pleasure, luxury, and healing. Pay for that hip replacement I've been needing for six years with no solution in sight. Lick my dry old pussy for hours without hope of it getting wet, just to make me scream my lungs out. If you want to penetrate me, make sure you've got lube - the thieves stole mine and I no longer self-lubricate. Bonus points for mansions with elaborate, mazelike sex dungeons and gardens, butlers and valets and maids awkwardly standing by as we tease and flirt or maybe more, and believable descriptions of life aboard yachts. That said, I have no idea, so you have a lot of leeway.

I'm interested especially in submissives, especially cucks and pain sluts, but don't let that stop you if you're not one. I'm desperate. No one is more thirsty than me, especially when it's literally super hot out here and I'm baking alive in this decaying street oven. But I can domme pretty well once I'm fed, housed, and healed. I used to be a dominatrix to pay my way through college. That clientele falls away as you age, unless you enter management. Fuck management.

Class war themes a plus. Shall we conspire to swindle, sabotage, kidnap, or murder Bezos, Gates, or Musk? Or maybe Taylor Swift, Oprah, Paris Hilton, Gisele Bündchen, or Halle Berry?

Magical or technological medical miracles to restore some or all of me would be fun, but no instant fountains of youth. We can make our way toward me being hotter, more youthful feeling and appearing, and so on, but this shouldn't just be another smoking hot chick but with a different mind scenario.

If you read this far, you have my sincere gratitude. I hope all is well in your world, and I hope neither you nor your loved ones are currently homeless or suffering real world, non-fantasy poverty.

Since apparently some of you come from formerly glorious nations which are now collapsing failed states with education systems which don't even provide basic literacy to your dumb asses, this is not a "tragic back story" or looking for pity for this character. I described a set of circumstances and a basic orientation, not a plea for sympathy. Translation for you simple commoners out there: learn to read, numbknuts.

She will accept a life preserver if thrown one, but she has not a shred of sympathy for herself. Like most homeless people, she's already been through more humiliation and suffering than most twue dominants will have experienced in several dozen lifetimes, and this has inured her to much feeling of sympathy toward herself or anyone else. She does not expect help. Help would be a shocking surprise in her world, and probably even refused initially. Anyone offering cash NSA would likely be assumed to have an agenda like kidnap, torture, or murder. The homeless can be cynical for good reason.

Everyone has heard a variation of this from their selfish asshole overworked friends, "I know a guy (never a specific person, because this almost never actually happened, and it's Always a Guy unless it's an Aynhole fembot) who rolled up on a homeless camp and offered them work for cash and they refused to even take this shining, glorious Opportunity. What a buncha lazy goodfornotthings #killthepoor trollolololol." Intended moral of the cuckservative fable: Because I work a 69 hour week I deserve help and others who work less deserve none.

Pattern: few want to play with assholes cunts and pricks, we want to play with decent human beings who are capable of letting their APC's out to play from time to time.

xoxo, Snake Blisskin