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Maybe the rest of my life is so-so, but my coffee table is beyond reproach.
Crafted from a piece of California Redwood, my coffee table has been called “majestic,” “outstanding,” and “a place to put your drink while you are watching television.”
It ties the living room together.
It won’t stain or become discolored if you fail to use a coaster—its surface is fully protected with over 11 coats of lacquer—but you will use a coaster anyway; we are civilized people.
You should respond to this ad if you are a woman and you are funny and smart and interesting. Also, please respond if you are the opposite, and you are thinking “Shut the fuck up you corny bitch.”
Please, though, if you do respond, do not ask me about my coffee table. I have said too much already.
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- 5 years ago
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