I looked at my girlfriend with skepticism as she sat down on the couch. “From personal experience, that sounds like such a trap.”

“No really, I mean it. Besides, we’ve only been dating for what, 2… 3 months now? Imagine if I wanted to celebrate our quarter-anniversary. Doesn’t that sound crazy?” Beth said as she laid down across the couch, letting her head rest in my lap was a random episode of Friends played on the TV before us. I felt myself start to get hard;

“So you’re really okay with nothing? No dozen roses, chocolates, or a day spa pass and you’ll be okay with it?” I suggested, as my phone vibrated in my pocket. Shit, she always has the worst timing…

“Yup! Besides, Valentine’s day is just a marketing slash commercialization scam aimed to milk as much cash out of insecure couples. They’re the people who say ‘No one can put a price on love’, then turn around and say ‘oh, but to properly show your affection you should buy your woman a thousand dollar diamond necklace and pay $80 for two dozen roses’. It’s a week away, just let it blow over and we can do something together later.” Beth patted my knee affectionately as I noticed your name in the message preview while checking my iPhone.

Hey baby, what are you doing right now?

Nothing much. Just watching some TV with the GF. She just told me I don’t need to get her anything for V-day. Was thinking of getting her roses. I texted back.

“Who’s texting you?” Beth piqued, not taking her eyes off the TV.

“It’s just one of my buddies discussing V-day plans.” It almost shocked me how comfortable I was lying that it was someone else messaging me when it was really you. Almost. “He’s just asking about gifts.”

That’s sweet. Speaking of roses, I actually got some today. Take a look. True, the picture you sent did involve two dozen roses, but it was certainly overshadowed by the selfie of you in a crimson thong and matching bra loaded on my screen. I clicked the power button and the screen turned black. Moments later, I pressed it again to get another sneak peek before turning the screen off.

Beth laughed, looking up at me momentarily before looking back at the flatscreen. “See what I mean? I’ve already got enough on my plate without that sort of shit in my life. What are you gonna tell him?”

My cell vibrated again. Don’t act like you don’t want to see more. Not that you haven’t seen it plenty already.

“Not sure yet. I’ll have to talk to him about it a bit more.”

“Speaking of friends, ________ was telling me about how she’s trying to keep it on the downlow with her boytoy this time around. Pretty surprising; she’s usually the kind to play with three guys at once, persuading them to take her on expensive shopping sprees, B&Bs and cruises to Mexico.”

I glanced at my phone, seeing another picture pop up. This time you were lying down on white carpet, your ankles brought close to your buttocks with your knees pointed toward the ceiling and your right hand underneath your thong. “Your, uh, friend sounds like a bit of a bitch.”

Like I’ve said: if you can keep it between us, I don’t mind being your slutty little side-bitch.

“Mmm, she certainly used to be. But I think she might be settling down, or at least for a little bit. We all get there at some point in our lives, don’t you agree?”

“I suppose.” Turned out the second picture wasn’t actually a picture but a short clip instead. And now that it’d fully downloaded, the preview animated into you massaging your lips slowly, like how one would painstakingly and laboriously light a coal barbeque. There was no sound: you’d already anticipated I’d be hanging out with Beth. I didn’t even have a chance to respond before your next message arrived.

How about a trade? I’ll give you the two dozen roses if you come over here and give me a screaming O?

I stared at the message, not even really hearing what Beth was saying until your next message popped up.

*I’ll leave my front door unlocked for the next hour. Don’t keep a lady waiting. ;) *

My vision: Girlfriend doesn’t know that her boyfriend’s already been tempted into cheating by one of her own friends. We could start at the beginning or jump right in, though I’m more partial to the idea of starting from the beginning with having the mystery woman seduce the boyfriend when Beth introduces us for the first time. I’d prefer her to be someone who aggressively flirts and seduces, perhaps not because she’s even interested that much in the boyfriend himself, but doing it solely because she can and it gives her a sense of power.

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