Look, it's sick. I know it, you know it, and we both know someone else just threw up reading the title. But I have to come clean. Sometimes, this sub is an outlet for your freakiest, kinkiest desires, the sort of stuff that would make an entire conga line of porn stars gag, and not in the usual way. Rest assured, I am more than awed by the stuff people come up with. Everything from torrid, incest-rape fantasies of such jaw-dropping malevolence and complexity that the writer should really be getting in touch with George R. R. Martin to ghostwrite his books, to lurid tales of people getting gang-banged by diseased, superintelligent sea turtles. I'm not making that one up; you know who you are, and I'm always impressed by your wild imagination, trust me.

But y'know what? Fuck it, I have to say it. All of the wild, weird, scandalously depraved shit on here is the sort of shit that makes my warped little heart smile, just from the fact that people have a place to come and share their deepest fantasies and secrets they can't let anyone in real life catch a hint of. But sometimes - okay, most of the time - I'm honestly just yearning for something, well... decent.

I mean, indecent. But indecent in a way that involves consenting adults tangled up in sheets, or over a log, or in a slowly-spiralling starship, or anywhere, with sweat and short breaths and colliding flesh, all in the name of feeling good. And making each other feel good. Hey, props to you if your kinky little heart glows when imagining being used as a fucktoy, or stretching someone else out like one of those strange but very reasonably-priced little gel-egg things. But me? Just lather me up with that consensual, equal-partners shit.

Seriously, I'm like a crackhead, and even an extravaganza of bed-breaking butt-fucking, done with sincere desire for mutual pleasure and fun and maybe a few dumb jokes slid in there, is like sweet, sweet rock. And hey, maybe I tend to like to let my imagination spiral a little bit, into tales of suspiciously roguish wizards and sci-fi adventurers that make Captain Kirk's bedpost-notching look like the sexual exploits of an honest-to-God nun. Hell, maybe some of my tastes there are weird; whatever freaky deities can stand looking inside my head know that my fondness for lady orcs and spunky cyberpunk heroines probably stems from deep-seated desires for not needing to worry about accidentally bruising my partners or feeling okay to hug it out sometimes, or... whatever. Not that I let stuff slip out there for a moment.

At the end of the day, honestly, I guess what I'm trying to say in this prompt, that turned into more of a soul-spilling ramble, is that sometimes people want stuff that, no matter how wild the setting, how outre the ideas, is basically vanilla, at its heart. Something where no one's getting injured, where people want to be together, and where the fun comes from the frothy, lube-scented spring of mutual respect and fun between equals.

Okay. Deep breaths.

So... yeah. Honestly, this turned into more of me getting some feelings off my chest, more literally than I intended when I penned the title. If you stuck it out to the end, hey - thanks for reading, and thanks for, in some small way, making me grin a little. And if anything at all about that sick vanilla sensibility appeals, well... I'll be around, yeah?

Thanks for reading!