You all know who I am. You've seen my name on the sidebar, you've read the flair, and you have certainly felt my presence when your inbox lit up with that dreaded prompt removal message. I'm the mod who pulls your post, bans you, then goes through your post history and removes every fucking post you've ever made, you piece of shit. I'm the one who tells you to go fuck yourself when you ask to be unbanned; I'm the one who tells you to remove the NSFW pictures from your prompt and then bans you for a month anyway just because you didn't say 'please' and 'thank you'. I'm the one who argues for a 72 hour post limit. I'm the one who got your chatzy and discord servers put on the blacklist. You know who the fuck I am. Admit it.

But who are you, huh? Some punk looking to post another roulette post of porn stars you want to wank off to? No.. I know who you are. I know your type, you little slut. You're the type who gets excited when you see that green moderator flair next to my name. You're the one whose panties get all wet when you see a new sticky on the front page, and who spams flair bot six times a week to get that perfect flair that will finally get you noticed. You're the pathetic thing that posts in every Open Forum post on the off-chance that one of the mods will reply to you, and the one who struggles every night to think of a new, worthless META just so you can get that message from the moderators that your post has been rejected. You look at me, and you wish I would ban you. You look at my flair, and you can't suppress a moan. Your clothes are tight and constricting, and your keyboard is sticky and messy with the sheer, wanton lust you've smeared all over your fingers as you type another shitty post about teenagers just so you can get another warning.

You're a mod slut. A whore for those with power. You want to spread your legs and take my green flair to the hilt in your slack, unlubricated holes. You want to be stepped on. Trod underfoot. Destroyed.

Well, you're in luck, you simpering cum bucket. I've just come off a rampant spree banning fifty random users for having usernames I didn't like, and now I'm looking to take my mod-boner out on something weak and delicious. You want the attention of those better than you? Well get on your knees and stick out your tongue, whore, because I have a spam filter just aching to be emptied, and you are going to just sit there and swallow every single filthy drop. Aren't you? Shut up, I know you are. Don't speak to me. Don't even dare to presume you have the right. I'll ban you soon as look at you, I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck about you, or your posts, or your whole fucking karma score. To me, you are just another shitposter, and I will break you like I broke all the ones before you. Buckle up, fuck-toy. You're about to get what you've always wanted. You're about to get fucked by a mod.

Also, go read my shit on my sub. Do it.