Glomph, goes the little green temptress's mouth, sliding sloppily down to swallow my shaft, and fuck, goes my brain, my eyes snapping open with a frustrated grunt.

Not this shit again.

Letting my head fall back against the pillow with a groan, I fight the sleep-induced haze of weakness in my grip, hauling the blanket off my little assailant and tossing it at the foot of the bed, levering myself up to rest on my elbows with a glare at her that I can only think of as fervent.

"Excuse me."

Shlorp, shlop, shlorp, and I see teasing violet eyes wink up at me, the thickest part of my cock suddenly playing host to a spit-soaked orchestra of lips and tongue that's already dangerous close to climax. She's no doubt been at it for a good while, while I've been asleep, if the wet drip of goblin saliva across the overloaded curve of my sack is any indication. Cheek little fucker's probably been fingering herself too, no doubt - shifting my legs with a growing vigor, I can feel it, the drool of pointy-eared grool soaked through my sheets.

"Excuse me."

Louder this time, and sterner, my voice snapping out like a whip in the morning stillness. That gets her attention, and wag a finger at her sternly, rocking my hips back fruitlessly, only succeeding in bouncing back up and feeling a throat open smooth as silk around my tip.

"I'm trying to get up," I note, pointedly, glancing at the clock. "I have to go to work, and shave, and so on, y'know. This is getting - okay, look. I know you're here because of that curse and all, but this is getting ridiculous. I was on the bus on Tuesday, for fuck's sake, and - oh, for the love of -"

Something wet, warm, and framed by well-apportioned thighs is rubbing on my own thigh, rhythmically, and I can feel a wet trickle running down against my coarse hair.

"Are you humping me, too?" I groan, feeling a surge of annoyance well up within me. "Right. That settles it, you - you perverted little shit."

With my fingers sliding up between the smooth strands of my unwanted visitor's hair, I haul her firmly up and off me, tugging her strands by the root and bringing my cock out with a lewd smack back against my belly, flinging droplets of pearly pre-cum up to my chest. She's really getting bold with it, I groan, holding her back as grasping, pumping hands immediately replace practiced lips.

I never should've cut that witch off in traffic...

"Can I at least get up and use the head?" I ask, my voice seething with impatience. "Brush my teeth? Scrape the fuzz off my face? Maybe get an introduction before you milk my balls out for the sixty-fuckth time?"

I can see the wheels turning, the rhythm of fingers spreading around my bulging shaft beginning to get a little less regular. Thank fuck, it's working.

"Look, I'll give you some bacon, even, if you'll just stop bugging me for a day."

That seems to work, her ears twitching up with an excited flick, a shy little nod accompanying the goblin's slow flush. The moment passes, alas, and she's back to pumping lustily, humming a little tune now, to boot. A tune, I can't help but think with grudging admiration, is pretty damn catchy.

"Some bacon and a glass of OJ?"

Nothing.

"Bacon, eggs, and toast?"

The spreading feeling of pleasure continues, and I can feel, with annoyance, my own toes curling. I can't take it any more, Goddammit; I've got places to be, and things to do, and I can't get this stupid fucking treatment all the time, and -

"All right, that settles it."

With a grunt, I grab the greedy goblin by the waist, pulling her round and pushing her neatly into the bed, her startled squeak disappearing into the comforter as little digits furrow into the soft cloth. She's got naught on but socks, it seems, and I bring myself to kneel behind her with righteous, pissed-off indignation, my cock bouncing heavily in the air behind her and a feeling of triumph spreading in my breast.

"Bacon, eggs, and the ride of your fucking life."

Tangled black hair nods happily against the comforter, and I'm halfway to spearing her on my cock when I realize, mid-thrust into her hole, that I've been played.

Fuck.

A longer and lusty tale of a man beset by devious goblins, determined to distract him. And, well, one goblin in particular. Neither might admit it, but perhaps they even grow fond of each other. Imagine that!

I'm cheerily open to all sorts of ways to go with this - so long as it's got some humor, at least one small, green, and buxom lass, and some happily rough sex, I'm content. Please do drop me a line if you're interested; I don't bite at all.

Cheers!

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