There is a scourge in our fair and noble land, brothers and sisters under the eyes of Him Above, and yea, it is a great and terrible scourge, of enormity unknown since the days of Sodom. We walk among the likes of temptresses the world has never seen before and may never encounter after our days, for their wiles draw even the staunchest of men into an act so irredeemably unnatural that their seed is spilled not in fertile wombs but into the plush, silky squeeze of one of these harlots' gloriously tight rear passages.

Yes, it is with a heavy heart and and aching loins that I must name the evil: my friends, my humble wanderers along the road of this earthly life, I must unveil to you all that we are beset by a monstrous regiment of butt-sluts.

They issue in swarms, walking along cutely and politely, tempting good, noble men with their sinful displays of flesh and flagrancy - and I speak not just of ankles, but of the sublime swell of assets and asses, pleasing to the eye and warming to the soul, cheeks shifting in a manner to make even a dead man's heart beat quick, beneath dresses of immodest cut. And I must relate, with a heart weak from the sheer sin of it all and from the stirring beneath the pulpit, they carry their vials of wicked slickness on their travels, using it hither and yon with the least of concern for what is righteous.

Yea, you all may yet be beset by them - a humble walk along the county's northern fen, and you may come across a butt-slut in a clear and sweet pool, bathing with her dress fluttering in the wind, those nimble fingers massaging savory oils into her chamber of pleasures and her eyes beckoning you in. You may even find yourself tempted, and go to her, and taste the honeyed nectar of her lips, and feel a storm of such lust as you may not yet imagine overtake you, a rich and warm sin in your belly as you furrow her flesh with your fingers. You may growl, you may groan, you may cry out in the most exquisite of pleasures, as you seize her womanly hips and drive your firmament into her fundament until she has taken you whole, her place of maidenly virtue unspoiled beneath the twitching ring of her adept channel.

And I will warn you, with the solemnest of vows to relay only the truth, that they are terrible and wicked, for they will rut back against you and submit to the least dignified of pinnings, letting any man mount them and indulge in that sweetest of fornications. They shall kiss! They shall issue sweet sighs and pleasing moan, as they are plundered; they shall gasp and they shall groan, and they shall submit to ignoble works of hand in hair and palm on flesh, in a manner not seen since Babylon's fall.

At last, when the sun has sunk below the good, green hills, they shall arch and clench and beg, and will coax into their unwholesome bodies such swollen rushes of seed as I cannot believe a man could produce. And they shall accept tender embraces, so as to tempt one into returning to consummate the most foul and abominable crime against nature again, and again, and again, till an unwholesome love may flower.

Heed my warning, and do not let their wiles tempt you, and keep your faith always in your hearts.

DPP Profile