Captain York swung gallantly from the quarter deck of his ship, landing effortlessly on the British Man-of-war. Drawing his sword, he flashed a brilliant smile before dispatching the first two sailors to challenge him. A third dove overboard to avoid his blade, clearing a path to York's target.

"We meet again, Admiral Harrington!" he exclaimed, hurrying up the stairs to meet his foe.

"You and your pirate crew are no match for the British Navy, York. I shall enjoy watching you hang in London," the Admiral sneered.

"Haha," York laughed heroically, launching into an attack.

The two men began a duel on an epic scale, the battle going on around them forgotten. Captain York never lost his dashing grin, just as the Admiral kept his foul sneer. They fought from one end of the ship to the other, until Harrington lunged when he was supposed to feint, catching the Captain in the arm and tearing his sleeve.

Captain York looked at the tear in his sleeve and rolled his eyes, "Damn it, Basil!"

"Cut!" screamed the director. "Errol, take a break. Someone get the choreographer in here to work with Basil. Again!"

Errol descended the steps from atop the massive set piece to the soundstage floor, pulling the ripped shirt off over his head. A young lady from wardrobe rushed over.

"I'll take that, Mr. Flynn," she said, blushing in the presence of the shirtless movie star.

"Thank you, dear," he smiled. He took her hand and kissed it gently before turning and walking to his dressing room.

Closing the door behind him, he poured himself a drink and sat down, leaning his prop sword against the wall. Moments later there was a soft knock on his door.

"Come in," he called.

Kinks: un-buckling swashes, heroine co-stars, cute seamstresses, and pirate booty.

Limits: buckling swashes, inept dueling partners, kids, animals, anything belonging in the bathroom.