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Dear Diary,
Today I celebrated my seven hundredth birthday alone, which sucks. Not quite alone, anyway, but thralls aren't much for conversation. All they do is sit there and drool, but that's only entertaining for the first hundred years. Today I realized my thralls can't satisfy me anymore, and I need something new to entertain me.
Or someone new.
It then occurred to me: "Hey! I'm a master vampire! Shouldn't there be adventurers lining up for miles to slay me for reward?"
I haven't been assaulted in centuries. While getting a sword in your gut sucks, the look on their faces when you come back to life is priceless. I miss the excitement of turning the tables on some shmuck and turning them into my willing slaves.
Hopefully I'll get some holier-than-thou paladin wanting to smite me or something. Breaking religious ones is so fun! Or maybe some alchemist with a bunch of strange potions to test on them! Oh, the possibilities are endless. I haven't been this excited in a long time.
Who knows, maybe I'll even find another mythical undead creature like me. It gets lonely in my castle, and I've never seen a coffin built for two.
I'm going into town tonight to put up a bounty on myself. Here's hoping there's a sucker that'll take the bait.
Sincerely yours,
Count Franz IV von Königcht, Eternal Lord and Master of Königcht Castle
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