The perspective I’m about to share might seem narcissistic—and, to some extent, it is. But bear with me, please.

It’s strange how only now, in my late 30s, I’m realizing how much of sex depends on fantasy. Without it, fucking is just a sequence of physical actions. Sure, the physical sensations alone can deliver incredible pleasure. Yet, it seems that what happens in the mind carries far greater weight.

Today, after my workout, I sat alone in the sauna, letting the heat soak into my skin. I found myself studying my member. Half-serious and half-amused a thought crossed my mind: “Why isn’t there a hungry, insatiable mouth here right now, eager to suck my thick, veiny cock and worship my smooth, cum-filled balls for hours?”

Fantasies like this aren’t just fleeting thoughts for me—they’re central. I long to see my dick desired with unrestrained passion. I think, I even separate it from the rest of me, almost as if it has its own identity. A funny feeling. My ultimate desire isn’t just to be wanted for my body. It’s to witness raw, unfiltered craving. Lust. Surrender. The kind of need that’s palpable in every movement and glance.

But here’s the irony: when that desire becomes real, the physical act itself sometimes feels secondary. It’s the intensity, the exchange of energy, and the submission to fantasy that captivates me.

I’ve reflected on this a lot over the years, but I still don’t fully understand my preferences. It would be easy to blame porn for distorting my expectations. It’s true! And yet, my real experiences tell me otherwise. I’ve had partners whose eyes and actions conveyed a kind of devotion—a desire so intense it felt almost worshipful. These moments were fleeting. When I was younger, I didn’t understand myself well enough to embrace or nurture those dynamics. I lacked the courage to fully explore what I truly wanted.

—

I’m Paul, and I’m looking for someone to join me. Someone who understands the pull of deep, mutual desires. For me, it’s not just about my needs—it’s also about fulfilling yours. I’d love to find a pleaser between my legs, yes, but I also recognize that this kind of connection requires trust and understanding. I see it as a journey, one that starts with communication and builds into something.

The closest comparison might be a connection with elements of power exchange. I envision a dynamic where I take on the role of dom and my partner embraces the sub role. Obviously, aftercare is essential. I want my partner to feel safe, understood, and valued—both during and after our explorations.

Over time, I’ve learned that I prefer conversations as a gateway. Role-play can be thrilling, but open, honest dialogue is where I find the most freedom. It creates a space to experiment.

For transparency, I’m married, and my wife is aware of my explorations. She consents to them. My schedule can be busy, so I may not always respond quickly. But when I do, I’ll give you my full attention. I value quality over quantity in communication, and I’d hope for the same in return.

If this resonates with you, I’d love to hear your thoughts!