Six months ago I was nothing. A guard for a lordly lord and naught else. Then came the night, slightly drunk and feeling reckless, I stole into the vault and stole the Horn of Krakens. I stole away into the night headlong and knew it was success or death, or worse. I blew the horn when I was at the seashore and seawater flooded into my lungs. I nearly died in a way I didn’t anticipate but I didn’t and what’s more is I could feel an answer in my head. An alien intelligence, a kraken of the deep.

Thus began my life of piracy. With my newfound ally I stole a ship. Then another. Then I took on a crew who knew death lurked below and at my beckon call. I made sure it made known its presence even between smashing truculent ships to matchsticks and devouring those selfsame truculent captains.

A common man made good. Well…successful. Even I am not so bold as to call myself good. Not with the sheer volume of base desires I use my newfound power to sate. Or try to sate. Speaking of which, here we are in the present and I have captured a keep at long last. A base of operations to spread the influence of my pirate kingdom and my reputation as the Kraken King. It is not much but it is mine…now. And so too shall be that little lord’s lady and I must have him know it. See it. He will witness my dominance and know that it was foolish to try and resist me. Trussed and gagged he is now behind a screen in his own bedroom and my men bring forth his woman to me from what had been her own dungeon. Oh how the fates have turned! I’ve never had a lady before but I will be dining on the good stuff tonight.

Are you an older woman looking to find a way to have her husband or children spared? The lord’s daughter? Of age of course. Or are you simply desperate to save your own ass…or ambitions.

I am willing to discuss writing with another guy who would play the part of this lord but ladies to the front.

I am a writer first and foremost and I like to write quality, multi-paragraph and detailed stories thick with feeling and immersion. Save your one-liners for someone lesser.