Does anyone remember all of those weight loss shows in the early 2000s? Shows like the Biggest Loser, Bulging Brides, I Used To Be Fat just to name a few. Growing up, I would watch as these hilariously obese, pathetic, sad fatties would be weighed in. Their weight would be displayed on a large screen. Throughout the week, the trainers would push them to their limits in the gym and strictly monitor and regulate their diets. When the fatties failed to lose weight, they were punished with additional exercise and diet restrictions. Watching those shows was a formative experience for me. Along with the fact that I, myself, have always been a bit on the heavier side. I never really exercised in my life and in college I became a lazy stoner. One of the effects of my weed habit was the munchies. I would gorge and binge tons of sweets and other treats. It really took a toll on my figure. My middle is so wide and thick and I have thunder thighs. Well, one night while I was shoveling ice cream into my face, a familiar tv show appeared on my screen. It was the Biggest Loser. There was a girl on the screen having her initial intake and to my horror, she was smaller than me. I immediately began to spiral and comfort eat. After a lengthy pig out session, I finally drifted off to sleep. When I awoke in the morning, I couldn't avoid thinking about the girl I saw on the show and how I compared to her.

My scenario involves my participation on the show. I would love for the host to make degrading comments about my weight. Force me to perform tasks that accentuate how out of shape and massive I’ve become. Have sexier, thinner people weigh me in and measure my progress, or lack thereof. Perhaps the goal of the show isn’t even for me to lose weight, but simply to humiliate and shame me for being fat. So, hit me up and let me know what you have in mind.