Forties are the new thirties! But let’s face it, your best days are behind you.

You’re forty-something edging fifty and you’re still a bachelor, a very horny one at that. Being the nice-guy nerdy type your entire life, you had game but not that much luck with women in the long term. Hence, your current marital status: single, horny, and a little bit of a creep. But, hey, at least your hobby/hyper-fixation/gig in the film industry paid off!

Meet Heather, a twenty-one year old psychology minor and aspiring actor. She’s your run of the mill 5’4”, 120 lbs, 38-24-36, blue-eyed perky slim blonde of 34F heavy breasts, large areolas, and an auburn landing-strip. You’d know 'cause you have her file and she’s also that naked neighbor.

To her, you’re the cool uncle that knows his way fixing stuff around the house and opening jars. To you, she’s the busty jockey you so desperately need in your life who also bakes a mean apple pie. Despite of the obvious age gap you are particularly close, in comparison with your interaction with other neighbors. Your relationship, however, is strictly platonic and nothing sexual; albeit physically.

Being a psych major with an interest in sexology and a drama student, Heather is quite sex positive, very vocal about her likes habits and experiences, utterly casual about nudity. Your conversations although very mundane at times are filled with banter and can get very sexually explicit but never dirty. Although, your behavior is that of two respectful close friends. You can get away with being so old-fashioned charmingly forward because you’ve proven you never dare lay a finger on me.

Hey, I am looking for a literate and descriptive roleplaying partner to play as Albert, my number one fan and sweet little creepy neighbor.

Here are a few things that I’d like to establish plot-wise and that your character knows about mine:

• You (and only you) can see almost my entire bedroom from your apartment window. All I can see from my room (if I dare acknowledge you) is a sofa and a lamp, you’re fond of reading by, since your apartment in on the floor above.

• You obviously often see me chilling in my room, au naturale fresh out of the shower, getting ready for school or work, masturbating on bed, or getting railed by the same type of guys, you know, the tall and muscular that don’t respect and date me simply because of my rack. I don't seem to learn, or even worse I like it.

• I sometimes call over the phone you to ask your opinion about lingerie or outfits through the window.

• We’ve hanged out at my place with me wearing regular attire, an oversized t-shirt and panties, or casually topless wearing high-rise jeans turned into shorts.

• The most intimate we’ve ever been was that one time where we had phone sex as a thank you for me getting the role on that TV commercial audition.

• We have dinner at my place every Wednesday night because, well, you’re lonely and I pity you.

• When we hang out we usually: listen to your old records while dance, watch old horror movies (the ones with lots unnecessary female nudity on them), play indie boardgames, or you just read while I crochet and talk and I answer some of you casual genuinely curious but sexually charged questions.

If you’re interested in a long term edging roleplay in which if you were to make any kind of physical advance I’d be utterly offended, please write back with a lovely orange envelope and description of your character embedded in your POV of any of the bullet points above. And then come and knock at my door, my bathroom faucet is leaking and the sound it’s driving me crazy. If you play along, maybe I’ll accept to give you a handjob with a condom on. I'd love it if you could include commentary about the things you think, lust over, and wish you could do to me, while we interact in casual dialogue.

My likes are: wit, creativity, show don’t tell, lots of dialogue, in-character casual conversation, banter, flirting, I looove getting asked in-character questions about myself, discussing kinks and preferences, plausible scenarios, creativity, sex positivity, detailed descriptions of penises and erections through out the roleplay, talking about ex’s, previous experiences and fantasies, gender roles, talking casually about sex and masturbation habits.

My dislikes are: the words bimbo and precum, people that neither know what they want nor how to ask for it, having my character controlled, roleplaying in reddit chat, having asked to blurt out kinks and limits, lack of wit and creativity, unrealistic penis sizes, describing a character’s penis once and said description literally being ...and an eight inch cut cock, non-con, power play, humiliation, violence, not understanding consent, blatant misogyny, incel mindsets, waterspots, scat.