I'd always needed it to be a little rough.

I craved something I couldn't put into words with a partner, so I'd always said things like, "really, it's ok if you slap my ass hard, if you tell me, I'm your dirty girl and you're going to make me cum."

But I'd always ended up disappointed. Play slaps. "Naughty girl" name calling in cutesy tones. I'd only dated women who couldn't make me feel the thing I craved to feel.

Until I met you.

You were completely different. You saw through my gruffness, my stand-offish attitude. It didn't fase you.

One of the main themes I'm hoping to explore here is the humiliation dynamic while being exposed in front of somebody I know. The idea, or an idea I guess, is our games have turned into a fairly "toxic relationship" where you use me and it leaves me feeling dirty, but it's the only place I feel this aliveness from the carnality of our relationship and sex. And eventually, you start to push the limits and no longer just grope me in the back of an uber while the driver watches, but make me ask him to watch, or to touch me. It's even possible that that this happens behind my boyfriends back and you use me in front of him, or in front of some other friend, or even in front of a family member

I have a few ideas for who you could be, but I'm open to new ideas too.

• A girl I met at a bar, you're hard to read, but have a cruel side that lets me be the needy slut with you that the world never sees behind my own abrasive exterior attitude
• An older woman who lives in the neighborhood, knows my family, and appears occasionally at neighbor barbecues but always has an aire of "she's a bit different."
• A woman I found on a dating app or fet-life type site when I finally caved and decided to try dating a "domme"

kinks: dirty-talk, body writing, being tied up and recorded, humiliation, raceplay and more in kinklist
limits: 20 characters only, slurs, violence, scat