Let's be honest: most times when men are frustrated about their sexlife it's the frequency, not the quality/what they do. Men need to ejaculate often as the tension build up inside of them. They don't want to bother their wife or girlfriend or don't want to nag about it after many declines so they masturbate. I think that is wrong. Sexual frustration is a natural thing that should be solved within the relationship through sex. Sex doesn't have to have all the bells and whistles but can be the more practical kind: little foreplay, just thrusting untill you get to orgasm and then it's over. Some ridiculise that kind of sex but I think that was the default in most of human history before the invention of easily accessable internet porn.

There is nothing wrong with helping each other out like you do in lots of things, that shouldn't be different for sex. I believe the importance of sex for men is often underestimated, especially for keeping the relationship alive. Should a woman do what the man wants? No, that is unhealthy too. You should come to a compromise that works for both in which the man is sexually satisfied through regular orgasms but it's in a way that is doable for the woman. In my case that is that I can be passive while he takes the active role. That he doesn't hold himself in but orgasms quickly, Sex doesn't have to be special, it has to work, There is nothing wrong with maintenance sex.

You should still be satisfied from it but I get my satisfaction from other things and I think that in general men project their own view on that (orgasm as the main goal) too much on women. I get my satisfaction from our moment together, from the closeness and yes from when he ejaculates in me. I don't want or need an orgasm during sex but I want him to cum. I don't believe that I'm the only one who feels this way. Like I said: most of history it was this way and I believe most longer lasting relationship work in similar ways too. Sex doesn't have to be a spectacle and it doesn't have to be equal (as women and men have different needs).

About me: I'm 24 and from the Netherlands so I can talk in both Dutch and English. I'm not looking for sexting or roleplaying, not meeting or sending photos, just a conversation about sex and everything around it. Please send me a chat request, I don't read DM's.