We had been best friends, well, forever. Ms. J’s class, first grade. We had immediately hit it off. We liked the same cartoons, we copied each other’s mannerisms. Nothing could stand in our way.

When our pre-teens started, things could have gotten weird, but we didn’t let anything interfere with our friendship. We would be friends until the end. There was a period in high school where, due to the general swirl of unbridled adolescent emotions and horniness, we could have been tempted to be something more, but you had a boyfriend and I had a girlfriend. And by the time we each extricated ourselves from those relationships, the moment had passed and we were certain that the friendship was more important than that attraction.

We went to different colleges, but we stayed close, talking at least several times a week on the phone. Did I lose a girlfriend to her suspicion that we were too close? Sure, but we both knew what our friendship was and anybody who couldn’t deal with that didn’t need to be in my life anyways.

And so, I found myself in your apartment. Work had been crazy for both of us lately, and so these times were precious even if we were often both distracted. I was planted on your couch after you let me in saying that you needed a shower after work. I pulled up reddit on my phone, knowing already that it was a bad idea, but I just couldn’t help myself.

With how intense work had been, along with the obligations of maintaining friendships with both you and other people that were important to me, my dating life had dried up. I had gone on a couple app dates recently, but every one of them had been barely tolerable. And so, I had done what most guys that weren’t getting any did. I turned to porn.

But, things went a bit further than I expected them to. I had discovered gooning and porn addiction. And it lit me up more than anything I’d ever seen. I’d spend hours feverishly watching, grunting, hornier than I’d ever been.

As I watched the girl sloppily suck on a cock on my phone - we’re talking drool string from dick to chin sloppy - I was absorbed. I wasn’t so gone that I started to stroke in your place, but I was lost in the video. And that’s when I heard you. “Dude, what the actual fuck?!”

As I tried frantically to come up with some explanation, you told me to get the fuck out. The tears in your eyes warring with the angry expression on your face. My heart broke before that face, and I slunk out of your apartment in a haze of shame and misery.

It was radio silence for about a week. I reached out several times, trying to mend what I had broken. You then called to arrange for us to meet at a public restaurant. You mostly wanted an explanation. I tried to truncate, but you wanted details. I explained my discovery of gooning, porn addiction, fetishization of the addiction process itself, everything you asked about. There was a look of semi-horrified morbid curiosity on your face.

At the end, you told me that you hoped I would find help. You told me that you didn’t want to close the door on our friendship but that it would take a bit before things could go back to the way they were. I grasped at this, happy that what we had wasn’t over forever. I assured you that I would clean my act up.

I was true to my word. I was a model nofapper. I avoided even the mildest of triggers. And I met with you on a weekly basis for lunch or dinner. I tried to talk about this journey, but you told me it was ok to not talk about it, and you didn’t want to constantly drag me through it. You wanted me to heal from this, not constantly reopen wounds.

Our meetings continued like this for a couple months, but I noticed that you would sometimes be more distracted. The last three meetings we had were interrupted. On one, you showed up nearly an hour late. Another, you had to leave early. And the last one, you had canceled last minute. All with fairly flimsy excuses.

And today, you had no-call no-showed. And so, here I am, pounding on your door. Maybe you were just slipping away. Maybe our friendship had finally run up against something it couldn’t overcome, a thought that made me sick to my stomach. But I would be damned if I didn’t fight for our friendship. If I had screwed everything up, maybe I could fix it too.

“Come on, open up. I saw your car in the parking lot. I just want to talk. Please.” My voice is ragged, and I try to control it.

Your voice squeeks out from inside, higher pitched than normal. “Dude, chill, I’m halfway through a shower. Gimme a sec.”

My breath slows as I calm down. How did I let myself get so worked up? Just calm down. Several minutes later, you open the door. Your hair is wet, your clothes hastily thrown on. “Can I come in and talk?”

“Uh…ummm…sure.”

___________________________________________________

Looking for someone to play my best friend. After discovering that I was into gooning, you wanted to better understand your friend. So, you started to do some research. And that research led you deep, soooo deep, down the rabbit hole. And while I was getting clean, you were getting dirty.

And now, having to pause and quickly shower midway through what has proven to be the most raunchy and epic session yet, here I am. An addict who you know would take so little to push to relapse. And the thought of that makes your porn-addled pussy practically quiver.

Looking for a depraved, messy, fucked-up yet wholesome friends to gooners/couple. Want them to fall as deeply in love with each other as with porn. Let me know if this strikes your fancy. DMs preferred.