Hey, what are you wearing right now? Said oblivious man trying to sext.

Right now? I responded back in kind

mmmmm yes now" He responded clapping his hands behind his laptop

You caught me at a bad time, right now I'm riding my horse preparing to storm the gates of bohemia, we've just tracked down the king and we are preparing to slaughter him, you coming? I responded back.

I never heard from that man since, oh well.

Excuse me, I had to deal with a perv and didn't even introduce myself, I'm Amanda. I run a massage clinic. Basically I'm quite a horny gal however my massages are really professional, I never stare or ogle at my patients, even if you brought me a Viking bearded dad with a dadbod, I wouldn't ever stare.

Oh where are all the witty men gone, did the Aliens abduct them and they harvest their wit for the evil of mankind, I can't even begin with how many times I've heard the phrase "Good Ending massage I hope" I'm sorry? Does this look like one of these "shoots" you masturbate to?

I mean, I'm not even trying to hide the fact that I do happen to be blessed with massive rounded tits.....Yeah a woman with massive tits, I guess I'm one in a million.

I'm always attracted by wit, I love it. People always assume it's just introverted humor type shit, but that can't be further from the truth, It always turns me on knowing there's a guy out there who is smooth and has a massive dick...

Yes, a massive dick, call it lengthy, call it thick, call it a sausage, anything really. I'd love a guy who has it but doesn't boast about it, Like yeah I just happened to have a massive dick, could be worse I could have had cancer.

I want someone with a meat tucked in his pants, I want to be terrified of touching it and changing the tides of history.

Oh excuse me, my next client is waiting. I don't ever like to flirt at my job but let's hope he's not boring at least.

Little did Amanda know that she would come back to her laptop, with a thick steamy rod on her face updating her blog and celebrating.

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So which one of you was it, the self proclaimed witty man that also has a massive dick?

Was it a Viking with a Dadbod?

You don't have to explain your character like you are doing a character creation in Fallout, you can blend it in while you are roleplaying.

Kinks? Nothing more than a witty man who is self aware.

Oh, if you've got a different plot then I'd like to hear it.

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