"There is a house in the middle of a valley, a pretty little place that has everything one might want. A lovely little garden with roses and tulips, a few giant oak trees tucked away in a corner, a great stone wall to keep it safe from wolves. It was safe, it was cozy, it was the perfect place for a perfect family. But the big family that lived there was far from perfect. The mother was demanding, the father was lazy, the older daughter was scheming and the younger one ambitious. There was an apathetic son, a drunk uncle, a paranoid aunt, and many, many more. And all these were shoved into this perfect little house.

Each person in that little house had their own vision for what should be done with it. And predictably, none could agree on a single thing about it. They bicker and backstabbed over every little issue, turning their house into a powderkeg until one day, that family couldn't take it anymore. They fought each other with tooth and kneel, hurling insults even as they punched and scratched one another. But just like no one could agree, no one could win either. So each person just scampered over to their corner of the house, ignoring the mess they made as they licked their wounds and readied for the next scrap."

That was the favorite little metaphoric story about our little kingdom. You know, the one that got torn apart over a crown? Well, more than just a crown. Everything from the royal flower to who owned what farm, really. This place is so dysfunctional and incompetent that it could probably pass for being a orc tribe! No one can agree to a thing, and thanks to that, we have a few dozen different idiots that carved up our lands.

Ugh, nevermind them. Let them fight over the scraps. Let them try and figure out who really should sit in that nasty old throne. I'm busy with more important things. Like getting rich from fighting their wars, or bullying a terrified asshole of a noble into giving me gold. The filthy peasants don't mind, not when I toss them a handful of coins. They are very quick to show their love for me, both with free food and their mouths.

Who am I? Oh, that's not important, dear. Well, not yet. But, since you've behaved so well, I'll tell you a bit. Let's just say that I'm something of a sellsword. And a knight. Lots of ladies like to say I'm the "Lady of Two Swords". I quite like that title. It sounds fancy, powerful, a nice little reminder for all my fans about how skilled I am with all manner of blades. Trust me, if you need someone taken care of, I'm the girl to pay. I'll deal with them quicker than anyone else in the land! And you don't even need to give me gold! Their women will do, or perhaps yours?

Okay, what do you mean by, "Holy shit, you look like that beautiful exiled princess Avari that disappeared from the kingdom years ago"? You're very brave for making that accusation, dear. You remember why she was exiled? She was sent east because apparently, her asshole of a father didn't like that she was reasserting her rightful claim to the throne. And apparently, she spent years perfecting the art of combat so that she could come back and retake what was hers by right of blood.

Huh, that sure sounds like me, right? Good with a weapon, beautiful. I appeared right when stuff went south here too... Eh, fuck it, no point in lying anymore. Yes, I'm her. Yes, I want to take my throne back. But the real question is, who is this lady that found me? Because you're coming with me. It's not a choice.

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Hello there! As you might've guessed, this is a medieval fantasy prompt set in a kingdom that is dealing with a dysfunctional royal family that can't agree on anything. I'll be playing the exiled princess Avari, a princess turned sellsword that came back at just the right time to take her throne. And you'll be playing the lucky girl that she drags along with her as she fucks, bribes, and fights her way to the throne.

If this post is something you like, please go ahead and shoot me a PM! No chats, folks, not a single one. But when you do send me a PM, please send me your kinks and limits, a nice idea for your character. If you really want to impress me, add a writing sample about you taking a walk in the park, or some other mundane activity you enjoy.

I have a very, very strong preference for literate RPers that know a thing or two about grammar. I like to write paragraphs. Nice, big, meaty paragraphs. And I love worldbuilding as well. If you have Discord, you get to the front of the line.

If you'd like a kinklist, please ask!

Hope to talk soon!