There's not a lot of options when it comes to student housing. Dorms are for freshmen. Apartments are overpriced. Coops are crowded.

But as you scroll through the listings one late desperate night, you stumble upon something that's very....different.

Roommate Wanted - 7 inches a must, rent negotiable

Space is a small apartment but modern and well maintained.

• One bedroom (we could share but I'm happy to sleep on the floor if you'd like)
• One bathroom, toilet and bath/shower unit (no urinal but feel free to use me instead)
• Kitchenette and living room (comes fully furnished and large enough for small parties)

Unfortunately no washer/dryer unit but I can take care of your laundry so it shouldn't be a big issue. Good view of the city by the balcony - particularly gorgeous at sunset. Located on the corner of 7th and Hawthorne, easy walking distance from campus.

Looking for someone who's into fitness, hiking, and fetishizing Asian girls. (I bruise pretty easily but don't let that stop you.) Again, 7 inches are a must - even better if you know how to use it. Open to having other people over, so feel free to apply if you have a girlfriend or lots of friends!

My parents pay for the lease so rent is negotiable - I'm willing to pay you $500 a month but obviously that number could be higher if we really click.

If you have any questions or want to reach out about the space, please reach out via Facebook or Instagram, feel free to text me too! Applications must include proof of size (length and girth preferred). Or if you'd like to interview in person, I'm leaving the door unlocked so feel free to come in at any time! Looking forward to meeting you :)

A quick scroll through her social media accounts is enough to verify that she's a second year business major at your school - the sort of student who comes from a well-off, well-educated family and clearly well on her way to following in their footsteps. You know the type. Perfectly silky hair, crisp blouses and designer slacks when she isn't in sports bras and workout leggings. Wears diamonds and pumps at Coachella. The picture of a model student, in all senses of both words.

Except for the last picture included in the listing. It's not of the bathroom or kitchenette or the balcony view. It's a selfie of herself, kneeling on the floor of her bedroom completely nude. Slender legs are splayed wide open, revealing a perfectly waxed cunt and a manicured hand spreading those glistening lips to show off the two chopsticks sticking out from them at lewd angles. Her other hand makes a peace sign for the camera.

So. Are you going to apply or what?