I've realized I'm seriously attracted to my roommate. A girl I've lived with for several years after graduating from college. Including through COVID which obviously was a turbulent time and still is. I considered myself heterosexual and have always judged lesbian sex as being gross, which is why I believe it's taken so long to understand my attraction. I didn't want to realize my attraction because she's kind of a bitch in certain ways but the bigger reason is because I was raised in a homophobic household. I didn't want to disappoint or gross myself out. I know that sounds fucked up and I really don't mean to be but that's how it was.

She and I have a good relationship for the most part. There are a few things at home that cause turbulence and small fights between us. The most notable drama-starter would be her very highly active sex life and the obnoxiousness that tags along with it. Even though I was homophobic, I've always been sex positive so her doing her thing isn't a big deal. It becomes a big deal though when after a few fun nights in a row, you ask her to quiet down and the noise is just the same or even worse. It's even more frustrating when you come home from work the following day and can't shower because she's already using the shower with a lady friend. A different lady friend than the past few nights. She has no shame.

As time has progressed, the two of us have become more and more comfortable with one another. That has some annoying qualities to it but it also means that I'm comfortable enough to tease and dish shit to her about anything. Her lesbian life and hook ups is a frequent teasing topic. The thing is, I've realized that I love dishing shit to her about her sexual life because I'm secretly just frustrated with my own. I'm frustrated with her having sex with those girls and not with me. I don't even care if she continues to fuck other girls, I just really want her to fuck me too.

It pains me to admit but more than anything, I wish my roommate would prove I'm a homosexual hypocrite and get me to do something I know so many other girls have. Which is to get on my knees and prove with my tongue just how much I actually adore my roommate.