Alla an Vanda

Those are the three words carved into the great stone cliffs as you enter Pikesmund. It’s the first thing many adventurers see when they come to this new land, and it usually brings up a lot of questions.

Who carved these words? What do they mean? How old are they?

Personally, I was curious if they practiced at all before carving five meter high lettering into a sheer cliff face but I’m an outlier. But I’m getting a bit ahead of myself.

Roughly ten years ago an island, uncreatively christened Vanda after the words scrawled on its cliff face, appeared off the eastern coast of our continent. If this wasn’t enough to spark people’s interest, the island doesn’t seem to obey any of the natural laws we’ve come to expect if not rely on. Namely, regardless of how deep you march inland, you never reach the other end, biomes, triomes, and whatever the hell four-omes is exist side by side with zero regard for reason, and ancient civilizations seem to get discovered every fortnight or so with some regularity.

This certainly appeals to the scientifically minded, but for me there are two words that got me and a literal boatload of other folks onto this god forsaken island.

A Wish.

Rumor has it at the center of this Godforsaken place is a tower with an artifact that can grant anyone their heart’s true desire.

That’s why I’m here, working as a Mercenary for the lovely Lily and Viper Guild trying to make enough coin to make it all the way to the center of this place.

But enough about me, I want to talk about this morning. In walks a representative of a Venture Company with enough gold in their bank to make a separate, smaller bank made of diamonds. This isn't completely out of the ordinary, but there were two things that were.

For one, this company? Completely run by Goblins. And two? The Guild Matron actually thinks they can pull it off.

Now I happen to love Goblins. Something about those short stacks just works. I don’t know if it’s the massive breasts, the dirty mouths, or the fact that their insides are basically rubber but a nice, short curvy green girl is exactly what I need. So the second I saw that the head of the expedition was a young, thicc goblin girl I volunteered immediately.

That’s how we met. So now the plan is simple.

Set out. Kill some baddies. Get the wish. Maybe fuck each other’s brains out.

What’s the worst that can happen?

—

Hi! I go by Nick and I gosh darn it I love fantasy. So the plot is simple with a lot of room to grow. Our characters team up and make their way into the island to get a wish.

Your Character: I have a soft spot for Goblins. Well, not exactly soft but… What can I say? I love their weird, chaotic sexual energy. It’s like fucking a girl from Jersey, but you know, more humane. Honestly, if you can answer the question, "Is you thicc?" Then we are good to go. If you have a particular character you want to play we can hammer out the details. I am fine with most fantasy races though I am particular on my own character’s features. I love it when people have a particular character concept at the start, so please feel free to send me your ideas.

My Character: Jackel “Jack” Flynt, 38 years old, 6'4" and built wide like a lumberjack (Little bit of weight, but enough muscle underneath to not be considered fat). Not entirely human, though it’s not a subject he brings up at dinner parties. Like all men who grew up very tall very fast, he wouldn’t hurt a fly*. Dark brown hair with a trimmed beard to match and a series of scars from a lifetime of adventuring. Tattooed to all hell, and trying to quit smoking. Today he is wearing a standard mostly clean undershirt, leather armor, light fur cloak, and leather boots.

*Flies are innocent, mindless creatures who have never wronged him. Those that do wrong him he would crush like an overripe cantaloupe.

If this sounds good to you, send me a message and we can talk about it! If this doesn’t sound like your jam but you like my style, take a look at my DPP profile. I pride myself on trying to combine humor and eroticism like a sexy Terry Pratchett, so... just Terry Pratchett. I have a more detailed list of Kinks and Limits on my profile, so if there is something we both enjoy, bring it up and we can totally make something work. If you’d like to incorporate a particular kink, I am all ears.

Feel free to shoot me a message if you have a prompt you want to share and I promise I will take a look.

Take care, and I hope to hear from you soon!