Alla an Vanda

Those are the three words carved into the great stone cliffs as you enter Pikesmund. It’s the first thing many adventurers see when they come to this new land, and it usually brings up a lot of questions.

Who carved these words? What do they mean? How old are they?

Personally, I was curious if they practiced at all before carving five meter high lettering into a sheer cliff face but I’m an outlier. But I’m getting a bit ahead of myself.

Roughly ten years ago an island, uncreatively christened Vanda after the words scrawled on its cliff face, appeared off the eastern coast of our continent. If this wasn’t enough to spark people’s interest, the island doesn’t seem to obey any of the natural laws we’ve come to expect if not rely on. Namely, regardless of how deep you march inland, you never reach the other end, biomes, triomes, and whatever the hell four-omes is exist side by side with zero regard for reason, and ancient civilizations seem to get discovered every fortnight or so with some regularity.

This certainly appeals to the scientifically minded, but for me there is one word that got me on the first boat out here.

A cure.

I was born with a certain… condition. I don't want to get into the details, but it's enough to say it has a strong physical effect. It’s already starting to affect my normal form, making me taller, more muscular, and… bigger in a lot of places.

So imagine my surprise when I find The Lily and Viper, the all female adventuring guild that advertises themselves as the first ever all interspecies guild and brothel. Their warriors, in addition to being deadly fighters, are all available as nightly companions even when out in the field.

Now, I love all types of women. But lately there is only one race that can handle me when I get a little… out of control.

Goblins. Something about those short stacks just works. I don’t know if it’s the massive breasts, the dirty mouths, or the fact that their insides are basically rubber but a nice, short curvy green girl is exactly what I need. The second I saw there was a young, thicc goblin girl for hire I was sold.

That’s how we met. So now the plan is simple.

Set out. Find the Cure. Fuck each other’s brains out.

What’s the worst that can happen?

—

Hi! I go by Nick and I gosh darn it I love fantasy. Welcome to a fantastical world at the very first interspecies guild/brothel! Goblins, Elves, Halfings, and Orcs can all gather together in search of wealth, fame, fortune and fuc-

Ahem.

Fun.

Your Character: I have a soft spot for Goblins. Well, not exactly soft but… What can I say? I love their weird, chaotic sexual energy. It’s like fucking a girl from Jersey, but you know, more humane. Honestly, if you can answer the question, "Is you thicc?" Then we are good to go. If you have a particular character you want to play we can hammer out the details. I am fine with most fantasy races though I am particular on my own character’s features. I love it when people have a particular character concept at the start, so please feel free to send me your ideas.

My Character: Jackson “Jack” Flynt, 38 years old, 6'4" and built wide like a lumberjack (Little bit of weight, but enough muscle underneath to not be considered fat). Not entirely human, though it’s not a subject he brings up at dinner parties. Like all men who grew up very tall very fast, he wouldn’t hurt a fly*. Dark brown hair with a trimmed beard to match and a series of scars from a lifetime of adventuring. Tattooed to all hell, and trying to quit smoking. Today he is wearing a standard mostly clean undershirt, leather armor, light fur cloak, and leather boots.

*Flies are innocent, mindless creatures who have never wronged him. Those that do wrong him he would crush like an overripe cantaloupe.

If this sounds good to you, send me a message and we can talk about it! If this doesn’t sound like your jam but you like my style, take a look at my DPP profile. I pride myself on trying to combine humor and eroticism like a sexy Terry Pratchett, so... just Terry Pratchett. I have a more detailed list of Kinks and Limits on my profile, so if there is something we both enjoy, bring it up and we can totally make something work. If you’d like to incorporate a particular kink, I am all ears.

Feel free to shoot me a message if you have a prompt you want to share and I promise I will take a look.

Take care, and I hope to hear from you soon!