I mean, I swear I checked off everything I wanted. Good looks, fun personality, and I checked the box that said "Slut". I DOUBLE CHECKED it. So why is it that someone showed up acting like a whore. Don't get me wrong, I've got nothing against someone who acts like that. They're perfectly cromulent partners. But I was certain I was seeking a slut for company.

"But, EJ," I hear you cry "What's the difference between a 'slut' and a 'whore'? They're just buzzwords people throw around to shame and degrade a person just for simply liking the act of sex!" You'd be technically right but, in this instance, you'd be wrong. There is a set technical guideline and I wanted strict adherence to it! You see, a slut would focus their sexual energy on me while a whore would focus their sexual energy on others while I sat back with a bowl of popcorn and a beer.

"And a beer? But isn't it like 12pm on a Monday?"

Listen, I said I didn't want a whore so I didn't want the popcorn OR the beer. But let's not get a head of ourselves. What's important is I wanted a slut and I didn't get one. So here I am waiting around until they come back after they've probably blown several guys and taken God knows how many loads into them?

Like, seriously, I don't want to think of that number. I ordered industrial grade so that's A LOT of cum they're taking. Shudders

So here I am. The slut I ordered turned out to be a whore and they're doing what they're supposed to do! I guess that's why I'm here now. What should I do now? Would you be willing to help a guy out? I swear it'll be worth your wild.